Why You Should Vote For Mitt Romney

I know what you’re thinking just from the title:

Why would these guys vote for Mitt Romney? Why would they try to convince others to do the same?

Well, it’s a pretty simple reason, actually. Over these past couple years, we have been so over exposed to this man, to this American Leader, to continuously hear what he stands for and what he lies about, it has become extremely challenging to not have an opinion of his supporters.

So, unless you are a multimillionaire, why would you vote for Mitt Romney? There are 2 reasons.

#1 is because you haven’t taken the time to learn anything about the candidates, and he has a relaxing and confident demeanor. Mitt has used rhetoric that is nice to hear and promises to “bring manufacturing jobs” back to America!

#2 is because you are a horrible racist.

You might say, “Well maybe I will vote for Mitt because I am a fiscal conservative, I think we are spending too freely and we should leave much of these issues up to the individual states!”

You might say that. In 1988, you might say that.

But let us propose a NEW reason for your vote for Mitt Romney!

If you are reading this blog, you are undoubtedly under 60 years old, and will survive (God willing) for another 4 years without any major health scares.

So if Mitt wins, what will happen to your family?

Well, you will probably incur some health care bills, and your taxes and gasoline will probably slightly rise with inflation. You will probably be just fine. Nothing will go too crazy for you or your way of life.

BUT, for the elderly people who vote for him? The people who have voted against their own well being because they simply cannot stand the site of a Black Muslim as the POTUS?
They will not be well. They will be denied coverage for their throat cancer. They will pay $40,000 a year for their diabetes medicine. Their houses will be taken from them by the same states they wanted to give power to, and will be denied a stay in the last-resort-state-run nursing home, because it has simply become too expensive for them and their families.

The manufacturing jobs these people have been waiting for will never return, leaving these poor uneducated white people without prospects or any life skills to help them obtain a steady income or any avenue to a more hopeful future. They will say how they have been “lied to” and that they thought the millionaire country singers had their best interests at heart.

While they have been denied any access to the medicine they now need to counter the growing throat tumor that has slowly started closing their esophagus, they will wander the streets in their diabetic blindness, looking for a handout from a compassionate person. They will duck in to the last remaining Mom and Pop pharmacy or small business grocery store, asking for help of any kind.

“Anything you can do for me, friend, will be greatly appreciated.”  

But they will not have any friends and it would have been greatly appreciated, but helping others is finished in America. They will need to steal some leaves or tire rubber from the City Garbage Fire to try to keep themselves warm from the night and to hide out from the drifting Rape Gangs that are looking for a nubile young woman to impregnate. (Now that abortion has been outlawed in all cases, Rape Gangs have become the only affordable health care providers for women under 40. But they still like to rape old ladies, too.)

As our elderly Romney fan hides out from these Rape Gangs for the night, sleeping in the gutter that their Grandparents built with taxpayer dollars, their breathing will start to slow down and soon, they will die alone in the cold cold air, surrounded by no one. Stubborn in the fact that they made the right decision because the nice men on FoxNews, the ones who have their best interest at heart and $2000 suits, have told them so.

They will die in the gutter, and with the new privatized waste system, their body will decay until they are unidentifiable. The only clue for one of our last 4 publicly paid detectives will be the EpiPen from 2 years ago, and a Romney/Ryan 2012 bumper sticker that could have gone on the car they couldn’t afford.

So if you are like me, and you have dealt with images of these Tea Partiers chanting in the streets about Communism and Freedom and Liberty and Supporting Our Troops, then you are probably ready to watch these poor old pieces of trash die extremely painful deaths as well.

So go out there and vote for Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan so the people that have been voting against their own interests will finally get what they deserve:

To die alone in the privatized streets like the worthless mindless hillbillies they are!


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach