Personification (Language Tool)

Personification: A figure of speech in which an inanimate object or abstraction is given human qualities or abilities.



This little bastard is a favorite tool of mine, when I need to show everybody how smart I am.
For example, sometimes I turn on Carol the computer and get on Steve Internet to see what Frank Facebook has to say to me about Anita Deely or Eric Roach. They usually don't have too much to say in the Harold Morning, because they've just got in to Rodney Work.
But by the time Jeremy Lunch comes around, they are all talk!
Oh we will sit and chat and chat about all kinds of things.
Brad Baseball
Susan Dinner Last Night
Carl Which One of Our Friends are Sleeping Together

and even

Jennifer What Are We Doing With Our Lives

Well, that's usually a fun time until it's time to go Fred Home for the Nathan Night.
I like to watch Terry Television play me the hits while I kiss my Jew Girlfriend and complain about my Darnell Mom.

Anyway, this is just a basic Barry Example of personification in it's purest version, something I sure we can all use Tanya More of.


Phil Personification Article-
A-


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

Miami Vice (tv cop show)

The Vice Squad. That's the part of the police department that deals with drugs, hookers, bombs, fast cars, pastel shirts, money laundering, bosses who don't smile, samurais, and cheese cloth. At least according to Miami Vice, a tv show that started in the mid-80s, when things really started getting weird for America. This was a show about Crockett & Tubbs, and Elvis the crazy alligator they lived with on a sailboat that never got used. These guys were really "tubular", as they were cops but somehow could afford Ferraris and Ray-Ban sunglasses for every day of the week. This show was more like a video that you'd see on MTV or Friday Night Videos or at my house on YouTube. Everything was really slow, and there were lots of shots...shots like of a car wheel driving on a street for 2 minutes while Glenn Frey sang about smuggling. These shots represented DESPAIR. The boss was Edward James Olmos, who has made a career of playing Hispanic authority figures, and this paved the way for our 1st Latina supreme court judge. He never got mad, he just was never happy. Probably because the cops looked like they made a million dollars a day and he had really bad acne scars. I'll bet he drank a lot at home alone, like in Home Alone. Anyway, the cops were always after terrible Cubans who did awful things and always got away with it. Then a Phil Collins song would play and Tubbs would do a little dance. Every episode ended like this. Not very original. I'm ready to give it another chance, though.
B-.
-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer