Eric and Andy's Night at the Theater!

A lot of people have been asking us how the "Eric and Andy's Night at the Theater" event went. So we decided to tell everyone exactly what happened in the exact time that it happened. Now get off our backs and live vicariously through us!!

And if you were there, relive all these classic Eric & Andy moments that you just can't find anywhere but right here at Eric & Andy's Reviews You Can Iews!

5:07pm

We arrived to the theater in a timely fashion and were greeted by our Chicago Shakespeare contacts, Greta Honold and Carly Magill.

5:08pm

Greta and Carly are already sick of being hit on by us, so we tone it down.

5:09pm

I start getting pretty nervous that no one is going to show up and we will have to figure out how to cover 70 seats with our coats. Eric calms me down and tells me to have a piece of cheese. I do this.

5:15pm
Eric has his 3rd Newcastle

5:30pm

Our first guests arrive in the party room. They immediately start drinking and talking about theatre.

5:34pm

Jennifer Santanello arrives. Eric points her to the free wine. Jenn is happier than ever before.

5:40pm

I am so sick of hearing about theatre, I ask Eric if he wants to run out with me down to the "optical illusion maze" and he says he does, so we get the hell out of there.

5:51pm

Eric gets lost in maze.

5:53pm

The maze asks Eric about what play he is working on now.

6:00pm

Eric and Andy end up somewhere in the parking garage.

6:15pm

We realize we left our speeches inside our suit jackets that we used for bandages in the maze, so we have to buy tickets to go back inside and get them. We run really quickly so we don't get stuck in any conversation again about where the Prop Theater is.

6:20pm

We make it back up to the party and so many people have showed up to drink and talk about theatre! There's Noah Simon, Michaela Petro, Maggie Graham, Danielle O'Farrell, that one guy from Cherrywood, the bartender who is giving me my 6th Newcastle! What a party!

6:20pm

That bartender's name is Alberto Mendoza and he has a theatre company too! Everyone looks so great and ready for action!

(Not action like, watching a play, but action like, more drinking)

6:32pm

Every woman at the party has been hit on at least once by Eric & Andy.

6:32pm

Most of the dudes, too.

6:33pm

Yep...all the dudes.

6:45pm

The party is continuing without a hitch! Even Kerry Reid is having fun! The DePaul M.F.A. program students are about to start a fight against the front of house staff, because they are telling them how to use topography in their job better.

7:01pm

Kasia Januszewski is, and I quote, "so happy to be here!" In celebration, a 10th Newcastle.

7:08pm

Almost time for our big toast! They bring us microphones and tell us that they "are hot".

7:09pm

This is a technical term, and Eric is told that he doesn't need gloves. Eric shouts, "Well, I have them, I'll wear them...you think you're better than me?"

7:09pm

Eric puts on his gloves.

7:15pm
Eric and Andy give the greatest toast in the history of toast.

7:25pm

Everyone heads down to their seats to wait in eager anticipation of the Bard's most well known work "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf."

7:25pm

That's what we were told we would be seeing. Instead they showed us "Romeo and Juliet" which has almost nothing to do with suicide.

7:29pm

Eric and Andy both marvel at the beautiful theatrical space! It's a three-quarter thrust stage, just like the Old Globe in London, England!

7:30pm

"Romeo and Juliet" begins.

10:01pm

"Romeo and Juliet" is over.

10:02pm

We are whisked from our seats to the backstage area for our quick meet and greet with the cast members who will be joining us onstage for the talk back. This part is exciting!

10:15pm

Eric and Andy begin the talk back with the actors from this evening's performance. As I bore myself while I am talking, I see that beautiful overweight family from Wichita who sat next to us during the performance gaze into the theater to see what was happening.  The Shakespeare security staff has to ask them to leave.

10:17pm

The actors are getting a little frustrated with our questions, mainly because they have so very little to do with the play or acting.

10:19pm

It is becoming clear that the actors would rather talk about their play than about us. We try to ease the tension by asking them what they think about us AND "Romeo and Juliet".

10:20

Eric has a hangover already. Ora Jones seems to realize this and secretly relish it.

10:21pm

Ora Jones needs to learn when to shut her trap about Eric. All she is doing is putting him down!

(They used to date)

10:22pm

Don't worry, it's cool, Ora. Eric won't tell everyone about that thing you liked him to do...yeah, Ora knows. Emoticon of a wink.

10:25pm

It's time to start wrapping up. Eric and Andy proceed to pick apart James Elly's performance, note by note until he is crying like a little Arab girl.

10:29pm

Eric and Andy take a well deserved bow. It really was magical and all our guests seemed to be transported to a timeless place covered in leather and graffiti!  Where the Princes wear microphones and the Priests don't try to hide their creepiness by looking presentable.

10:35pm

Eric and Andy shake their last hand and walk out to the courtesy car waiting to take them home.  Let's do this again, Chicago! The future awaits!

If YOU would like to see a play at Chicago Shakespeare Theater, and are under 35, please use this link to purchase $20 tickets! If you are over 35, then make some friends and get a better job. Theatre ain't free, ya know.

Win a DREAM DATE with Eric & Andy!!!!

Hi loyal readers and attractive lovers!  Eric & Andy here with a huge and exciting contest for you!

You may have heard about Eric & Andy's Night At The Theatre happening tomorrow night at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre.  Well how would you like to win a night of PASSION?  A night of THRILLS?  A night of AWKWARD SILENCES?

We have 2 free tickets to this amazing event tomorrow to give away!  All you have to do is write a 150 word essay on how beautiful and heroic Eric & Andy are (together, or separately...please mention both Eric and Andy in your essay, and at least MENTION our seductive eyes once, please) and submit it to our email:

reviewsyoucaniews@gmail.com

We will post the 2 winning essays before 5pm (cst) this afternoon!  What an incredible opportunity for two lucky people!  An open bar starting at 5:30, Romeo & Juliet at 7:30, and a wonderful and informative talk back right after the performance hosted by Eric & Andy!  And then...who knows?  You could end up breaking out of a Tijuana jail by sunrise!  We can't promise anything.

Good luck, faithful comrades!


*If you have tix to this event already, don't enter again to try and get more tix to scalp them...pretty tacky.  Also, if you win, don't dress like a slob...this is a pretty fancy place and we really want you to look your best.  No direct eye-contact.  We do not provide cab fare.  Don't leave at intermission and go to Billy Goat, that is the rudest thing anyone could do.  Show some skin.  Be aggressive...B. E. aggressive.