The Mikado (The Hypocrites) John Taflan

As some day it may happen that an opera must be viewed,

Put this one on your list:

Mikado by the ‘crites.

A fantastic compilation of the bawdy and skewed

In a promenade-y mist

(and there’s booze, if you insist).

Just enter Chopin’s basement and you’ll join a festive throng,

Whose tendency to strum and strut makes right from so much wrong.

(By “wrong” I mean your standard theatre most often passes

As arguments o’er kitchen sinks, four walls, and seats for asses.)

But never mind my bitching, Go!  This play should not be missed.

Put your name upon the list,

(Something something) coexist.

Put your name upon the list!

(Something something) coexist!

In their audience, enlist.

I think you get the gist.

There’s Casey--that’s her family name--and little Shawny Pfautsch

Both pulling double shifts

(That almost rhymed with “list”).

Singing/acting all while playing isn’t for your common slouch,

But two parts each?  That kissed?

A fine quadruple tryst.

When Kahler speaks you cannot help but laugh until you keen.

And Rob McLean was being quite especially Rob McLean…you know what I mean.

Both Bourque and Pawlik’s spunk (along with Schroeder’s) is in season,

And of the girls, I’ll mention Dana Omar for no reason.

Forgive me, Becky and Christine, for I could not resist.

It’s another brilliant twist

From the awesome Hypocrites.

It’s another brilliant twist!

From the awesome Hypocrites!

Sean and Kevin still persist.

Epistemologist.

The Mikado:  A

-John Taflan

Woyzeck (The Hypocrites)

I don’t mean to sound dumb or anything, but what is going on with The Hypocrites’ Woyzeck? I mean, I get it and all but like, what’s up with it? These are questions that are asked with Sean Graney’s super quirky adaptation of Woyzeck, presented by The Hypocrites, now playing at the Chopin Theatre in Wicker Park.

Now, I’m a little biased because I did this show at B.U.—I played the second male lead, the Drum Major—and I like to think I know it pretty well. It is seriously one of the most important pieces of theatre that has ever been written. It’s about this soldier, Woyzeck, who—in our version, at least—is driven to murder his girlfriend, Marie, when she cheats on him with (you guessed it) the Drum Major. Of course, other things happen too, but that’s the main one.

Like I said, Sean’s show is super super quirky. And, the murder does happen in it, but it’s just different. It reminded me of Donnie Darko in some parts, Full Metal Jacket in others, and other times like those weirder movies that are out there sometimes. I don’t know. There are definitely certain things that characters do where you’re just like, what is going on here? But, they’re smart. I think it was really cool how they slapped the money when they got it. It shows you that the money is important, but also that it’s bad, too. Because, why would you hit something that you like? And Marie carries this rock around because she’s kind of crazy. She calls it her “baby” but I don’t think anyone was buying it. I know when we did this show at B.U. we had an actual fake baby that cried and that was really cool. (Actually, the money slapping thing was kind of offensive. We’re in a recession right now and I don’t think it’s right to show money—which some people don’t have—being treated like that. But that’s just me.)

Anyway, the set was really cool. And the costumes were really, really cool. But, I don’t know… I don’t want to come off as stupid or anything, but doesn’t Woyzeck take place in the 1800s? I mean, don’t get me wrong, the show is really cool, but like why was Woyzeck dressed in modern clothes? And, I’m sorry, the Drum Major didn’t even look like a drum major. Where was his hat? Where was his baton? I honestly didn’t even know he was the drum major until he was having sex with Marie (which only kind of happened). I mean, I get it, but I don’t know. And it sounded like they were using a different translation than we used when I did the show at B.U.

I liked Geoff Button a lot as Woyzeck, though. He reminded me of like, a really sad Ross from Friends. Especially, in that one episode where he gets in a fight with Rachel, and cheats on her but it’s not really cheating because they’re on a break. Lindsey Gavel is awesome as Marie, who isn’t really like Rachel all that much, actually. She’s kind of like, like Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up, but a little scarier. I mean, she’s really good. They’re both really good. In fact, everybody does great in this show:

Ryan Bollettino is so blonde and funny as the doctor. Erin Barlow is really funny as Marie’s friend and as the doctor’s girl. Ryan Bourque as Woyzeck’s friend, Andres, is really funny, too. Sean Patrick Fawcett is funny in a really great way as the Captain. Zeke Sulkes is not as funny as everyone else, but he doesn’t have to be because he’s supposed to be super scary, which he is! Walter Briggs definitely played the Drum Major differently than I did…but he was great and really funny.

I mean, I would definitely recommend being in a production of Woyzeck if you can, but this version was really cool and I would definitely go see it.

Woyzeck: A

-John Taflan

Pirates of Penzance- The Hypocrites (play review)

Sometimes I think that Sean Graney is the super villain of plays.
It's like he gets hired to do a show and gives it the most ridiculous treatment he can think of, all in a maddening scheme to wreck the show and ruin the careers of all the actors involved. Then the show does well and his plans are foiled again! Then he disappears into Logan Square, never to be seen, until his next horrible experiment is foiled by his own petards.

If you think about it, it isn't the craziest theory out there.

Let's take Pirates of Penzance for example.
Everyone I have met in the past 10 years did this retard of a play in high school for the same reason that the Hypocrites are doing it now. It's free!
It's free and weird.

If you have managed to avoid this play your whole life, here's the rundown:

Frederic is a pirate apprentice and orphan. His father told his nurse to take him to PILOT school, but she misheard him and took him to PIRATE school. So then when he was a baby, he signed a contract that said he had to remain a pirate until his 21st birthday under penalty of nothing.
Turns out, he was born on leap year, so he's really only 5 years old after 21 years.
So he joins these pirates that are all SUPER gay and dress like Steve Prefontaine at a cocaine festival. They don't really do anything, because they pity orphans, so all the other real pirates that they try to take over (with no swords) say that they are orphans and then the gay, cocaine pirates split.
Frederic thinks that his old nurse named Ruth is ugly and doesn't want to marry her, even though no one is forcing him to, and so he says he needs to search for other women to see if she really is beautiful.
So the stupid pirates go to some remote island where there are only a bunch of sisters and their father who was the Major General of something that they never say.
He meets this other ugly broad named Mabel, and sort of falls in love with her? I don't know.
Then all the pirates marry these sisters and dance around and...live on an island?
Who knows, man. And frankly, who cares.
Then they all turn into policemen and dance around!

Here's the thing though, the play is AWESOME. It's great fun to watch, and in typical Graney bizarreness, it's standing room only, around this catwalk that looks like a pier and lots of beach balls and coolers full of Fresca.

Graney has an ability to find a mix of some of the best performers in town (Rob McLean, Nikki Klix, Shawn Pfautsch) and mix them with relative unknowns (Emily Casey, Christine Stulik) and make everyone act totally insane.

All the actors play their own instruments which lends itself, and takes away from, the show. He could have literally had a karaoke track of the show playing behind them, and I would've left with the same impression.
Maybe not, the musicians were great. They were all incredible at their jobs and very attractive doing it.
My favorite number is "With Cat Like Tread".

Ezekiel Sulkes is very lovable as Frederic, the idiot boy which none of the right moves, and Rob McLean is Rob McLean-ish as the Pirate King. He has a Hunter S. Thompson sort of look to him, if Hunter S. Thompson lived on Fire Island in the 70's.
The actor named Christine Stulik plays both Ruth and Mabel and sings like Snow White in the cartoon movie. She will have a great and flourishing career, for sure.
Matt Kahler as the Major General nearly walks away with the show in his crazy looking pocket after his song. He has 2 big numbers, one is "the Modern Major General" song, but I like his second one better. I can't remember the name, nor will you, but he is in pajamas.

The real glory of this show belongs to the ensemble. The musicianship is unparalleled on non-equity stages and features the talents of Nikki Klix, Ryan Bourque, Emily Casey, Shawn Pfautsch, Becky Poole, and Doug Pawlik. They have to run and jump and dive and swim all over that weird place and still play instruments.
The harmonies are dope and the choreography is pretty quick and cute as well.
I particularly like Nikki Klix, because she wears this really cute bathing suit and has the best smile ever.


I'm not gonna lie to you, there will be moments during the show when you won't be able to understand the lyrics, but after 10 minutes of watching the show, you will realize that they aren't really saying anything important anyway, and then you can sit back and enjoy the show.

AND ENJOY IT YOU SHALL!

This is the best non-Christmas show of the Christmas time!



A+

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

No Exit- The Hypocrites (Theater Review)

No Exit is a famous college play from the 40's about three people who are stuck in a little room where they have to sit next to each other.

One guy is a German Nazi who escaped the war and went to Brazil.
One lady is a Mexican postal worker that looks like Sherlock Holmes.
One lady is a whore.

In the play No Exit, these characters are forced to deal with the weirdo lesbian postal worker as she gropes at the whore and uses all the toothpaste. Then at the end, they realize that hell is actually just being around other people in a little room.

If this play was written nowadays, this would be happening on the #36 Broadway bus, right here in Chicago. Man, one time I was on that bus, and this guy was throwing up in the back and this old lady was complaining about it next to me, and then we got stuck in the Gay Pride Parade. So I know what they are going through.

Sean Graney has turned this once innocent and revealing sketch of human thoughts into another tour-de-vagina for the Hypocrites at the Athaneum Theatre. Jesus, Lord above, I have never been inside a worse theater in my life. Not only are the seats uncomfortable, but the clientele... yuck.

When the curtains opened, when I thought I couldn't take anymore of these grease balls kicking the back of my chair, I saw before me the most exhillarating set I've ever seen.

Now I know you all will think I am joking, but in all seriousness; the set is the inside of a vagina. I'm not joking. It is a cavernous pink waiting room with a sideways door (vagina opening) in the back, two globes (ovaries) downstage, and a giant clitoris statue in the middle of the room that they all rub through the show.

I'm serious.

Graney has really outdone himself this time. I had thought I had seen everything.

Now, in addition to the set, it wouldn't be a Graney play unless everyone talked at the same time with music playing too, and he would not disappoint. This play had everything.

And readers, I know you know what a huge fan I am of Rob McLean, and I was so lucky to see him in this play as Gomez or some other name that he made up when he fled the Allies in Europe. God, is he incredible. This Rob McLean has really grown as an actor in the last few years, I mean really grown into himself. Now is that because he has been gray since he was 17? I'm not here to judge him, for he is glorious.

Also in the play was Samantha Gleisten which I'm not entirely sure isn't Kevin O'Donnell with a wig on, but either way, really nice specific choices, Kev.

Erin Barlow gives the finest performance of her nubile 21 year life as a blonde girl who thinks she is better than me. And whom could forget the amazing and adaptive John Taflan as the Duke of Cercey or something, because he is dressed like an old fashioned British fellow and nobody else dressed like that, but maybe that's HIS Hell, because he just wanted to fit in, but somebody told him it was a costume party and now he's gonna go cry like a fat girl in the bathroom for an hour.

All in all, people talk a lot in Hell, about shit that doesn't always necessarily make so much sense. But you can always look into an ovary and see your family that you left behind.

No Exit

B

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

Cabaret - The Hypocrites (Theater Review)

Cabaret is a highly celebrated musical by the dynamic and homosexual Cy Kander and Julius Ebb. It concerns a young American who goes to Berlin for no real reason and starts banging dudes and chicks because everyone in Germany is a whore until the Nazis come and then everyone is a soldier. Well...everyone is a soldier that loves to sing. When I was in the Army, we had a special name for those kind of soldiers.
So natch, I was thrilled to take the train downtown in the middle of rush hour to see this highly acclaimed production by the Hypocrites Theater Collective at the DCA. DCA stands for Department of Cultural Affairs, so you know it had to be good, because it's presented by a city run organization.
When I first arrived, I was early, so me and my friends Anita and Loretta went to the Elephant and Castle for french fries with curry. These were not as good as I remember them being before, plus we were surrounded by douchebags named Tanner and Chad and Brad and Cody who made more money in an hour then I will all year. Luckily for us, they weren't going to the theater with us.
But their grandparents were!
When we arrived at the DCA, I was shocked to notice that we were the youngest people there by at least 45 years. The line for the water fountain was scattered with peril, but I insisted to myself that I would have some. You see, those curry fries weren't as good as I had remembered them being, and since it is a government run theater, there is nowhere to get a soda. Kind of like Nazi Germany. Nice place to do a play, Hypocrites.
Once we were herded into the theater (the same way a certain kind of people herded a certain other kind of people), I was in the mood for a play about the struggles of whores and rich Americans.
Before I continue, let me just say how awesome this cast is. They do things in this show that I would never do in a million years, and they do it for "art".
The opening of the show is a legendary dance number when a MAN known as the Emcee (a firey Jessie Fisher) comes out and sings this song that's sort of like Will Smith's "Welcome to Miami", except in this version, he welcomes us to the Cabaret. A place called the Kit Kat Bar in Berlin where it's always a party and everyone has mobile telephones. I didn't understand why they couldn't just go up and talk to each other, but I didn't live back then, so I can't say for sure. During this first big dance sequence we meet all of our whore characters for the show. If you guys like to look at chicks butts, this is the place to be. There were some old people asleep in the front row, which made me feel like I was at a strip club inside a Shoney's but I didn't care, because there were so many incredible vaginas in my face.Even the Stage Managers had great vaginas.
I wished I had a vagina because I would ask all of these girls what they do to keep them so nicely manicured and there wasn't a single butt zit in the entire cast. It was truly remarkable because I'm pretty sure I've banged most of the people in this show, and they ALL had butt zits then, but times change, and we grow older.

Well everyone is having the best time ever at the Cabaret and this dance number is among the best I've seen in that particular theater.
Next we are taken to the train station for the introduction of two of my favorite characters. Cliff O'Houlihan, the show's canvas, a young American from America who has come to Berlin from America to write a novel (played aggressively and vigorously and goodly by Michael Peters) about something...I'm not sure. I don't think whoever wrote this was particularly worried about everything having to make sense all the time, they just wanted to see some box like the rest of us. We also are introduced to Ernst (a sexy-as-hell Rob McLean), a guy who apparently goes back and forth to Paris to send letters to people or something or to smuggle something(?). Again, coherence is secondary here to vaginas. Well, Ernst and Cliff hit it off and Ernst helps Cliff find a place to stay while he writes his novel about who-knows-what.

We have now almost met all the characters. Only, like, 4 more.

Cliff arrives at his new home run by a lady named Frau Schneider (a brilliant Kate Harris).
Side note: Guys, I had heard stories about the magic of this woman before,but she truly is a Chicago theater treasure that we cannot lose. I looked in the phone book and there are only like 1500 Kate Harrises left in Chicago, so next time you see one, give it a few dollars or something, I'm not really sure what Kate Harrises eat or what impact it will have on the environment.

Anyway, Cliff moves in with this freakin lady, and we find out that she has other tenants too. One young slut named Kost (a slutty Laura Ewing) and an old fruity Jew stand owner named Herr Schultz.Oops, I mean an old Jewy fruit stand owner ( a too good for this Jim Heatherly)
Side note: Listen, I don't pretend to know all the ins and outs of business or theater stuff, but this dude, Jim Heatherly, must've really pissed someone off down the line somewhere. There is no reason that a man who is this age that is this good and has that good of a voice should be doing non-equity theater unless he continuously shows up drunk and/or is in the middle of some sex game with Sean Graney, the Artistic Director of the Hypocrites. All I knew was that I was in an ugly sex game with the character Hamburg (a naughty Doug Pawlik).
So Cliff starts teaching English lessons to Ernst (who already speaks English) and starts going to the Kit Kat Bar to bang this dude named Bobby (a sweet piece of ass named John Ferrick) who's banging this other dude named John Moran (an entitled John Moran) when he meets this bitch named Sally Bowles (a full chested and nicely faced Lindsay Leopold).
Now listen, I know this Sally character is a character that everybody wants to play and has become a big deal or whatever, and she has some good songs and everything, but what a whore. All this bitch does is take from everyone and then leaves you standing there, holding your dong while she's off for some more cocaine and abortions. FUCK SALLY BOWLES.
Well, needless to say, Sally moves in with Cliff because she is a whore and they fall in love.
Well, while all this is happening, you can start feeling a gentle shift in the tone behind Ernst. He has become a little more present onstage, and you learn that maybe he is working for the Nazi movement. In our culture, we have become so inured to the thought of Nazis that it isn't as shocking for us that the Nazi is the bad guy as it should be for the Jew in this show. But this seems to be on the Jewish agenda throughout history. They don't take any threats seriously until it's too late! Egypt?
"Oh, don't worry, Sol, this will all blow over."
The Crusades?
"I wouldn't get too excited, Moishe, this will be over soon."
The Bubonic Plague?
"They say it's all our fault, Jackie, but let's see how this winds up."
The Pale of Settlement?
"So they are asking us to move, what's the big deal? Surely we won't have to eat each other."
JEWS!!! WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO LEARN?!!
Maybe at the next Protocols of the Elders of Zion meeting, you guys should talk about getting some sort of warning system in place. I'm just saying.
But this section got me thinking about what it meant to be a Nazi. It seemed that all Nazis did, from the depiction in this play, was bang whores and try kill old people. Was I a Nazi?
I wasn't getting any help from the boy with no name (too cute for his own good Kyle Erkonen) or from Raja (a tigress named Dana Omar).
My mind was trying to work this out when I was distracted by the best part of this production, the band.
Jesus Christ are they good or what?
Led by 2 beautiful women, they played the shit outta that show.
The 2 women, ( the luxurious Britni Tozzi and the insatiable Nikki Klix, undoubtedly have the best names in the production and are undoubtedly the hottest, especially Klix, she also has the best vag and plays the violin like it's going out of style, which will never happen) and lead musically by the always dominant Mike Przygoda, Brandon Campbell and Kristina Lee, with KOD (Kevin O'Donnell) on the wheels of steel!
So, the play went on some more, and the Nazis are really coming now and by this point I was wishing for a Pizza Holocaust because I was so hungry from watching all that Nazi stuff and dancing.
So I don't want to give away the ending, but here are a few spoilers...
SPOILER ALERT!!!
1. None of the men who wear suits know how to iron.
2. No one dies from machine gun fire, which was a pretty big let down.
3. The costumes are in the style of "steampunk" which means, either dress like you are a gang in "The Warriors", or like you are an Indian that just found a bag of American officer's clothes.
4. Shannon Welling is in this play and trips over the stage all the time, because she is the biggest clunkiest whore of them all.

There is a great scene with a Gorilla that they stole from the zoo, and all the dancing girls are tremendous. I especially loved Chelsea Paice as the big breasted dancer and Dana Tretta as the little whore.
To give away the ending to this play would be like giving away the ending to "National Lampoon's Vacation", so I will refrain from doing so, but... things aren't looking good for the Jews again.
There is some gunfire, so be prepared to...hear gunfire, I guess. I know I haven't mentioned all the wonderful people in this show, including Eric Schroeder as the creepy sex guy, and the real winner of this show, Heather Gilbert (lighting designer) but everyone else can suck it because this review is so long already.
Go see Cabaret and get ready for the best Aryan party you can find this side of the Mason Dixon line!!


Cabaret
A+


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach