Local Actor/Drunk Kevin Stark first warmed our hearts in the
role of Screw Up Son in some play with Ora Jones at Steppenwolf and warmed our
hearts again in the role of Screw Up Son in some play with accents at Steep.
His new column "A Stark Perspective" will be a chance to catch up
weekly with this huge talent before he moves on to bigger and weirder things.
Did he steal that watch off a bum?
First Off, I do NOT do Shakespeare. If you ask me for a pair
of contrasting monologues, I WILL NOT BE PLEASED! I don't work for free anymore
and refuse to perform in cafes, or God forbid, someone's apartment. Also, I don't
do open mikes. Also, I will not be expected to memorize lines.
I will not work at a
theatre that isn't directly off the red or brown line without compensation for
my travel, or you could pick me up.
I do not do stylized
violence or learn lines “verbatim”, as I go strictly on impulse. I do not take direction from assholes with
degrees from Northwestern, that whack off to hanging with Liev Schreiber and
rapping about his "process", you piece of shit.
I will not cow-tow to
Stage Managers with their various “line notes”.
I am a real
motherfucker with balls of steel, that understands that stage sex is part of
the game, dude. I am SO SICK of stealing the spotlight. No one cares how you
hold the fucking teacup, hit your mark and tell the fucking truth! Don't be one
of those pussy actors in the corner beating their limp, taffy dick, asking if
they can stick it in too.
NO!!!
You get that dick
hard and fuck the stage with me, pussyboy.
-Kevin Stark
From your lips to
God's ears, Kev.
Join us next week for A Stark Perspective: Surefire Ways To
Bang Your CoStar
A+
It's Laffy Taffy, by the way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I WILL NOT BE SASSED!
ReplyDeleteKevin is the drunkest drunk.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I will not post points anonymously that are obviously articulated above.
ReplyDelete