|Me at the show!|
Since Eric and I are huge celebrities, we receive tickets to all sorts of cool things. Mainly plays, I guess. No one has ever given us tickets to a baseball game or a hot new club opening or an architecture boat tour. "Broadway in Chicago" is a not-for-profit organization that brings huge musicals from New York to Chicago so that we may learn about what real theatergoers like. I took my wife out for a night on the town! We had dinner at some place with half-priced appetizers and made our way over to the big bright theater.
Sometimes in life, things turn out better than you would have thought. For example, if your car got towed, but someone had put a bomb in it. Or if your penis got smaller, but then you started dating a Pixie. Pixies have notoriously small vaginas.
Do you know what you say when these things happen?
You can shout it from the rooftops! Because the past is in the past! This was one of the lessons I learned at last night's star-studded performance of Disney's The Lion King.
Have you ever seen Disney's The Lion King before? It was a movie first. A cartoon movie with lots of celebrity voices! There was Cheech and Ferris Bueller. Whoopi and Darth Vader. Die Hard 3 and Home Improvement. You never saw a bigger list of hot names!
The movie is about this prince that is gonna be the king of this one section of land and his uncle is mad about it. The uncle wants to be king and then he will unite the neighboring country and his and have a huge country. So far this sounds like most Shakespeare history plays.
All good plays and stories are about the same thing. Power struggles and finding courage.
That's why I was so surprised that they would take such an incredible idea for a show and then make it about animals. Did you know that this thing is about talking animals!? I mean, I knew the movie was about animals, but I thought for the play they'd give it up with that stuff already. Cartoons aren't real and you can't have lions and giraffes and zebras running around on a stage in Chicago. How would they even get here in the first place? Whatever. I'm not a zoologist. Here's the thing though... they use puppets! Not puppets like puppets we are used to either. Sometimes they just took a statue or doll and moved it around and they called that a puppet. Other times, they just wore a hat and then they called that a puppet. PUPPETS PUPPETS PUPPETS!!
Everyone standed up and cheered for this and was whistling and hooting! I got carried away and screamed "I WILL FUCKING BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!". Again, this was the wrong reaction and got me thinking about maybe having a mild form of autism.
|Left to Right: Zebra, Lion, Lion, Gazelle, Pig|