Eric & Andy's DEBATE SHOW

Did you watch the debates at home alone last night?

Did you just watch Home Alone?

Well why don’t you quit being a ding-a-ling, get off your buns, and join Eric and Andy for their first ever Eric and Andy’s DEBATE SHOW!!

Life is made to be lived, and what better way to live then with America’s new favorite Political Pundits!!?

More like America’s new favorite Political FUNdits!

We are ready to host the 2nd Presidential Debate at Strawdog Theater on Tuesday October 16th!!

The doors will open at 7pm. At 7:30pm, we will discuss the rules of various games we will be playing during live coverage of the debate.

Immediately following the debate, stick around for our own town hall meeting to discuss the direction of our country and what Medicare is.

Don’t miss out on the excitement of LIVE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES fashioned into a DRUNKEN BLOODSPORT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENTS!

A $5 suggested donation at the door will get you $3 PBR TALLBOYS and some of Strawdog’s famous craft beer menu items!

Why sit at home and weep into your hot dog soup? Come and join your heroes and weep into your BEER SOUP.

Anonymous Is A Threat To The Internet, and Society At Large

"Wow maybe you should go see the show again and pay attention this time. You seem to have missed alot. Too many drinks at the bar before the show?

Cameron Feagin who plays a whore with a heart of gold-she plays an actress hired to be Merrick's friend who actually becomes his friend and cares for him deeply. The elephant man is not playing with cardboard houses and they actually did get into that-you obviously must have been playing with your ice during most of this show.You as a failed actor must have nothing better to do with your time than post inaccurate and silly blogposts."

This was posted by the famous internet commentator "Anonymous" yesterday in response to my friend and fellow rapscallion Andy's brilliant review of Boho's The Elephant Man.

We all know that the internet, if it were a real place, would be the Mos Eisley Cantina:  A wretched hive of scum and villainy, and we must be cautious.  Of course, the Mos Eisley Cantina isn't a real place either, but wouldn't you like to hang out there?  Just once?  I would, and there'd be a sweet limited edition action figure released of C'wan Lathteth...that's my bad ass Star Wars name.  I'd be a smuggler with Jedi powers!

The internet makes fools and morons into actual "people."  It makes a guy who couldn't pass English 101 into an art critic who gets all kinds of free tickets to shows and gallery openings, it makes a redneck into a disaster film director, and it makes Neil LaBute into a thin male model who gets laid all the time.  What I'm saying is:  the internet is perfect for those of us with delusions of grandeur.  You can take nothing and create anything.

Unfortunately, most people just end up showing their true colors on board the web express.  What could be a wonderful place has turned into a cave where a bunch of neanderthals throw rocks at each other because no one can make fire the right way.  You've heard the saying, "Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one?"  Imagine an infinite number of assholes spewing the foulest, smelliest excrement all over the universe.  That's the internet.

I love the internet, actually.  I can have food delivered, stream movies into my TV, and write my incredible missives that thousands of people choose to read.  It is an amazing tool...but it has been misused.  Our technology has FAR surpassed our humanity.  We're barely out of the ocean as a species, and we have access to a network of computers that can control a fucking SPACE STATION?  Show the internet to King Henry the Eighth and he'd have you burned at the stake and then ask his men to figure out how to use it to destroy France.  (Side note:  You can totally destroy France with the internet.)

Here's some new rules for the internet:

1. You want to post anything?  A blog, a comment, a video you made?  You have to sign in with your full name and your social security number...no exceptions.
2. You want to post anonymously?  OK, but it costs $5...reasonable, but you have to decide if your bullshit is worth a fin.

I think these two rules could effectively shut down about 85% of idiots who decide that they want to play "Who's Got The Biggest Inter-Cock?" on someone's random webpage.  I'm a grown-ass man, I sign my name to whatever I say, and I take the consequences.  "But, Eric," you shout (anonymously), "Charging people to use the internet is so WRONG!"  Well, you're wrong.  People used to have a sense of accountability for what they said.  Now it's a witch hunt every single day, in between episodes of looking up free porn.

Why NOT be held accountable?  You've got something to say, great, say it all you want, but hiding behind an Anonymous post is a coward's way out.  You want people to take you seriously, to really listen...put your name on it.  Then we'll know if you're Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly, or just a cracker who likes big asses.

-John Taflan

Work for Eric and Andy!! Seeking play reviewers and photoshop guys!!

Since the beginning of our little blog, we have become ENGORGED in opportunities to see plays and review them!
The problem is, Eric and Andy and their merciless gang of writers are a very busy bunch.
Since part of the charm of our blog is that we are all theatre artists, it usually doesn't leave us enough time to see all the plays we want to.
If you are interested in joining the team and seeing plays for FREE, please send a sample review to:

reviewsyoucaniews@gmail.com

Also, if you are good at photoshop and would like to cause some trouble with us, please send a message to:

reviewsyoucaniews@gmail.com

The Big To-Do!!! Tonight at Navy Pier!!

Don't forget gang!
Tonight is the night when we all go to the Pier and see a great show and have drinks and meet the actors!!
See you all there at 5:30ish !!


Can't wait!!



-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

Eric and Andy's Night at the Theater!!!

UPDATE: No more tickets available guys!  Sold out in 50 minutes!  Keep your eyes peeled for contests closer to the date if you missed out!

For years now, Chicago Shakespeare Theatre has been the biggest employer of actors in town, but for years now, they have felt inaccessible to the working artist as a destination for entertainment.

Well not anymore!

Eric and Andy have been working tirelessly for our beloved theatre community to bring you the event of the season!!

ERIC AND ANDY'S NIGHT AT THE THEATER!! WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13TH!!

Come and join us for a free night on the pier as we take in a performance of the Midwest premiere of "Romeo and Juliet" a play by William Shakespeare (based on the film by Baz Luhrmann).

There will be light appetizers, an open bar, music, and a talk-back after the show, hosted by Eric and Andy with all the Chicago performers! All of this evening is graciously donated by Chicago Shakespeare Theatre and truly is an excellent opportunity for our community to come together and enjoy an amazing production at an amazing Chicago Theatre!

Open bar starts at 5:30pm
Show at 7:30pm
Talk back immediately following show.

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 13TH

To order YOUR PAIR of FREE tickets, please call the CST box-office at 312.595.5600 and use the code word "Eric and Andy"

Seats are limited so call NOW!!!!

Our Dinner With Dawndre

Eric

You may have seen our blog yesterday if you keep up with what PerformInk online calls "one of the funniest hunks of virtual real estate in the local theatre blogosphere," or whatever the hell that lady just called us.

Anderson

We posted an article about a young lady named Prawn Milson. A woman full of rage and hate and despair and strife.

Eric

We were only providing a public service to Prawn, and angry people like her. If you are going to post in public, the public might read it. This is why terrorists don't blog. Or blog very well, I should say. It's always 70 virgins this and Death to the Infidels that. Boring.

Anderson

Well, after our initial post, bringing attention to her initial post, everyone posted and it got out of hand. People were stockpiling virtual messages of hate for poor, angry Prawn. After some consideration, we decided to start a new blog entitled: www.prawnmilsonshoulddieinafire.blogspot.com

Eric

But then, Google called us and said that blog name was illegal and they would dropkick us through a wormhole if we tried to use it, which I know they can do, because they're Google, man.

Anderson

They are fucking Google, man. The Mary Arrchie of computers.

Eric

God, let's just stop talking about them...too creepy. So, we decided that the next best thing would be to meet up with the angrily tattooed Prawn for a tete-a-tete.

Anderson

Our journalistic sensibilities took over. We had to know why she was so mad at us. The people that made her that way. What did we do to deserve her unadulterated venom and tears? When we arrived, I was expecting to meet a weirdo, but what I found was quite the opposite. It was a person wearing all black, covered in tattoos, playing a didgeridoo.

Eric

I usually dislike didgeridoo, but I have to admit she has style on the pipe. At first, things were a little tense. I mean, we did force her into the spotlight of a cold and uncaring and VERY cruel world.

Anderson

She stood up and PUNCHED Eric with the force of a bitter 24 year old! I couldn't believe it!

Eric

I dropped like a bag of flour. Lady has arms! Felt like Chuck Wepner in the 4th round.

Anderson

You were still pretty good looking, actually.

Eric

Thanks, I just have to remember to keep the guard up and toe-in.

Anderson

Well, I thought she was just having a "lady day" because she immediately apologized. What was this thing? Doing something terrible and apologizing right afterwards?

Eric

I know! This phenomenon blows my mind. Usually when I do terrible things I get a record contract.

Anderson

I just get the punch in the face.

Anyway, we decided to put it behind us and sit down. We needed to learn about this mythical beast. The Prawn Milson.

Eric

The first thing I learned was "Dang, she's a cutie!"

Anderson

She offered to buy us drinks, which was so nice. Eric had the Pale Ale, whilst I had a Shirley Temple. Her disposition was wonderful.

Eric

She couldn't be nicer, guys. We talked about the internet, and soccer, and cheeseburgers!

Anderson

She likes all the same things we do! She talked about how work sucked and cigarettes were hard to quit. We talked about her cool glasses and how to pick a lock.

Eric

I actually was pretty fascinated by her job! Do you guys know how hard it is to be a stage manager? Probably not, because you're actors. It's REALLY hard. They have to clean up toothpaste, while you go to the bar and try to get recognized!

Anderson

I was starting to see the error of our ways. Could it be that she knew the behaviors we exhibited would not be respectable in normal life? Did she think she understood what we go through as actors? How we have to learn lines and talk to each other and maybe kiss each other? Eric tried to walk the conversation over to the issue of "Cherrywood" a play at Mary Arrchie Theatre Company that she had bad mouthed.

Eric

Listen, we all know that "Cherrywood" is going to be the best play of the year and probably start a revolution in theatre. She's gonna see it, guys. Everyone is, come on!

Anderson

But then, while I was talking, and verrry quietly, she brought out "the book." "The Book" is the unwritten book of laws created for the Chicago Theatre Community written by Rich Cotovsky with a forward by Lance Baker.

Eric

OMG, I can't believe we're gonna write about this!

Anderson

She slowly turned to Chapter 7: Stage Managers and she read aloud from this unwritten book that we all follow, but is sold out on Amazon.com so don't try to look for it…and it states:

"Every Stage Manager is allowed one time to act like an idiot and is to be granted by the community as a whole immediate forgiveness."

Eric

It's in The Book, people. Sometimes being a Stage Manager, working at Aldi, having tattoos, and dealing with actors can make you want to tunnel through the earth and use your mutant nuclear abilities to cause a singularity and destroy the entire 3rd dimension.

Anderson

Unfortunately she didn't read the part in chapter 9 that says actors are afforded nine times to act like idiots. So while she used her time up, we still have a few times left. Well, not me so much, but most of you.

Eric

Yeah, so fuck you Bob Falls! 6 more times left for me!

Anderson

We decided to hug and go our separate ways, never to meet again, but when the moon is very clear, and the darkness is calling you to a certain star in the sky...that star is Prawn Milson, and she is bright.