Rise Of The Numberless (The New Colony and Bailiwick Chicago)

True Story:
A few years ago, while I was moving, I lost my Social Security card and passport. All I had was my expired driver's license. So when I went to the DMV to get it renewed, they ripped it up in my face and told me that it was illegal to have it. So there I was with 0 identification. I went to get a Social Security card and they told me I needed a photo ID. I went to get a photo ID and they told me I needed a Social Security card.
They told me my one hope to get back into regular society was to get a copy of my high school transcripts sent up form Kentucky, but when I asked for them, the lady on the phone asked me to fax over a copy of my photo id.
So, I went to my Alderman and explained my situation. After about 2 weeks of checking, they told me there was nothing they could do, and that I was on my own.
For 2 years, I lived with no identification besides a birth certificate, because there is no way to receive one piece of paper without having another.
Eventually, I discovered a law that was made for people born in the early 1900's in Mississippi. You see, in a small region of Mississippi, all the old records were held in a church and about 20 years ago, there was a fire. That fire destroyed many people's original birth certificates making it impossible for them to get passports. So Congress passed a law allowing for you to go to a post office and fill out about 10 pieces of paper and take along someone who has known you for more than 5 years who is willing to swear to your identity, and then you can get on a list for possible approval for a passport. But that is the only way. Well, when I explained this to the lady at the post office, she of course had never heard of this law and told me to kindly go fuck myself.
On my second visit, I arrived with papers and mother ready to not take no for an answer. She was persuaded to allow it, after many calls to passport headquarters.
3 years I lived without ID. Off the grid. 3 years of being numberless.

There is an original play going on right now in Chicago by BoxWine Theatre Company called "Rise Of The Numberless: The Anderson Lawfer Story". It is mainly about my rise. It is pretty good, but I am not sure how they got this information from me. Well, I was watching it, and everyone is pretty good in it, but then on the bus ride home, I was flipping through the Red Eye and I heard about  whole separate play in town called "Rise Of The Numberless" which apparently had nothing to do with the play about me at all!

Well, this I had to see!

Rise Of The Numberless is co-produced by 2 extremely popular companies in town. The New Colony, known for their devised work and college kid go-get-em-ness and The Bailiwick Chicago, known to us older gentlemen as a place for straight guys to get naked on stage for gay guys. I don't think Bailiwick is like that anymore, but let us never forget our past lest we repeat it.

This play is about this group of roustabouts and tramps who cruise through the USA telling their story of how they became these vagrant bums.

Turns out, they live in the future where there is a one child law. Except instead of penalizing the parents, like how they do in China, they penalize the kids by sending them down the river like Moses. But these Moseses don't become Kings of Jews or build any arks. These Moseses play rock and roll music and bang each other like high schoolers!

NOW THAT'S MY KIND OF MOSES!

See, all the regular people have these computer chips in their arms, and that is how you know who is legit and who isn't, because this gang of Walkalongs don't have any chips. They got nothing but the shirts on their backs and the glam rock makeup on their faces.

Now we learn that there are groups, or "pods" of numberless people all over the country but we stay with the Washington DC Pod for the whole show. I wish we got to see other pods, because I bet the Catskills Pod wears big bowties and tells old jokes. I bet the Branson Pod gets a lot of visitors with their Jesus loving country music shows!

But this DC Pod is ok, too.

So, this pod has been accused of assassinating the President of the United States, I think. Or they were accused? No, I think they are accused of it. So they are trying to get their story out to the masses that they aren't terrorists, but rather, your brothers and sisters. They are part of your family and all they want is to see you again and be loved. Also, they want to sing in tight harmonies and put on plays!

Now, I am a big fan of The Temptations and The Four Tops, and I have to tell you that if you are going to spend all this time on your tight harmonies, it wouldn't kill you to add a few dance moves. You know who else has dance moves with their tight harmonies? The Detroit Pod.

The music in this show is great. It's a little bit Hedwig, a little bit Dark Side Pink Floyd, and a little bit Scissor Sisters. Basically, it's everything you want to hear.

It was written by some dude with a ponytail and this lady I think. They can't give you press packets because they are on the run from the law, but I saw those 2 people there, so I will assume they wrote it.

The cast is supreme. All of them can sing, and they move around the way you want a cast to move. They work as a group, like a recently oiled, grubby, post apocalyptic clock.

Since there were no names for the actors in the program, I will have to do my best with telling you whom I thought were stand outs.

The incredible Nikki Klix plays the stage manager of the show, I think? But she is also an actor in the show within the show, too. She has the best hair for rocking. Her voice soars like a California Condor above the bleak desert in California. The frightful Mexican wrestler-ish Aaron Alonso plays this guy with a top hat that that is very watchable, mainly because you always want to keep track of your belongings around Mexicans, but also because he as this super live energy that is fun and playful. It is very important to be playful in times like these.

There is also the trifecta of excitement with Michael Peters as an ex-football star, Danny Taylor as a white lipped Temptress, and Michael Harnichar as a guy who is maybe not real? I'm not sure what the story was with him. I think his character is only in someone's imagination or something. He was good, though, real or not.

If you get caught up wondering about the story, you will lose track of what is so cool about this show. It is total immersion, from the moment you walk to the building till the time you leave.

This is what Chicago Theatre is supposed to be. Gritty, punkrock, in your face, Guerilla style Art that makes your hair stand up on your neck and your balls shrink up into your abdomen. Or your vagina.

I loved it because it made me inspired.

I felt like I saw something that was new and interesting and arresting.

We all need to see and perform in shows like this, so we don't forget why we decided to join this stupid industry in the first place.

They have booze there, too.


A++


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach 

  









 

The Man Who Turned Into A Stick – Geopolis Theater Company

Usually in plays with titles like “The Man Who Turned Into a Stick,” I expect it’s going to be a Jackie Chan kung fu epic with an old beardy master who trains a stupid jerky guy to find himself through fighting, using a “stick” metaphor to explain to the guy how he should be when he fights, and then the beardy master gets kidnapped and the now enlightened guy has to rescue him and stuff.

But no, the guy in this play actually turns into a stick. Like, a twig.

“The Man Who Turned Into A Stick” from Geopolis Theater Company is a delightful romp (directed by Japanese-ish guy Eric Turner) through some one act plays written by this Japanese guy in the sixties (Kobo Abe). The other plays are called “Suitcase” (where a guy turns into a suitcase), “The Cliff of Time” (where a guy turns into a crappy prizefighter) and the titular “The Man Who Turned Into a Stick” (where a guy turns into a stick). All of the guys are played by one guy, which makes it seems like all the plays are supposed to go together or something.

The place where the plays are performed is totally not a theater. It’s a Japanese Cultural Center. By which I mean it’s a dojo.

So, I got really, REALLY excited when I had to take my shoes off and walk across the room-sized mat to get upstairs to where the play was being performed. I was really thinking I was going to be walking into a real-live Tekken when I emerged from the stairway, but I was sorely mistaken. There were just some people in crazy costumes standing still and staring at nothing. But THEN I thought maybe they’re just getting focused to fight and stuff..?

Wrong. No fighting in this/these play(s). The first one (“Suitcase”) is about this lady (Miona Harris) whose husband’s at work or whatever and has this person-shaped suitcase (Chris Sanderson) that makes goofy noises while he’s gone. The lady’s friend comes over (Marissa Cowsill) and tries to jimmy it/him open. Apparently it contains the voices of the lady’s husband’s ancestors, who were all apparently radio announcers because all the noises it/he makes sound like radio commercials. I totally understood it.

So in the next one (“The Cliff of Time”) the suitcase guy turns into an actual guy and everybody else in the cast ties really long strips of fabric to him. Accompanied by some ominous taiko drums, the cast members all stood with the other ends of the fabric in the corners of the playing space. He was like the hub of a wheel! A hub that is a boxer training rigorously for a fight, that is! This part really showed off the abdominal muscles and skinniness of Chris Sanderson, also some of his acting as it was a one man gig. I wish I hadn’t just seen “The Fighter,” because Chris totally could have been Christian Bale or any other boxer in that.

Finally, the big stick-man one (“The Man Who Turned Into a Stick”). A guy dies and turns into a stick and goes to hell.

For presumably not having any money as most small theatre companies don’t, I thought this was a really good set of plays. It was really transcendent and things and might have something to do with the trials of contemporary people struggling with individuality in a contemporary society. But I don’t know. All the acting was really good, especially Sanderson. His performance was reminiscent of Tyler Durden plus Twyla Tharp with all his moving around and being different things and people. Mostly Tyler Durden because of his washboard abs.

Also notable was Marissa Cowsill, who looked/was like this girl in Inuyasha or one of those adult swim anime cartoons. Her hair was red and her eyes were huge, a credit to her preparation.

The rest of the cast (Jon Beal, Miona Harris and Josh Hoover) really did a good job moving like people are supposed to move in these stylized kind of plays. They definitely reminded me of people in Japan.

So go check this play out. I might go again because it got my gusto up to just roll around on that mat and pretend I’m Ryu from Street Fighter for a while. SHORYUKEN!

-Michael Peters

Handel’s Messiah Rocks! (Broadway In Chicago GUEST REVIEWER MICHAEL PETERS)

Usually, I only go downtown for an audition (or because the only Arby’s in the city is there and I can’t get enough of that Horsey Sauce). So I literally leapt at the chance to go down to one of the big awesome theatres that I’ll never work at to see Handel’s Messiah Rocks!

And folks, I was not disappointed.

After stepping up to the press table and giving the nice lady my Reviews You Can Iews press credentials, she couldn’t seem to find my tickets, but she went to the box office and came back with THE BEST FREAKIN’ SEATS IN THE HOUSE IN THE SECOND ROW! I was so excited to sit so close to the performers and be right in the middle of the action.

So, before the show started, I was totally RIGHT THERE BY THE STEPS TO THE STAGE when all these people my age came out INTO THE AUDIENCE to welcome us to the show! I love when they do that! It makes me feel like I’M a part of the show too!

Then holy cow the show started!

Messiah, as you may or may not know, is the super-famous oratorio by George Frideric Handel, and is one of the most popular works in Western choral literature (and is viewed as totally sacred by music nerds).

But I can tell that the producers of Handel’s Messiah Rocks! totally agree with me that the score is super boring and old because they got a really awesome guitar guy and a totally awesome low-slung bass guy and a sweet electro-drum pads guy to amp up that stodgy old score.

And, as the title of the show would indicate, the band made it ROCK. THE FUCK. OUT.

There were three totally amazing rock ‘n roll singers, too. There was a guy who hit the super high notes and moved his arms around a bunch like he was feeling it, credited as “The Tenor” in the program, who looked like Andy Lawfer if he dressed like Conway Twitty if he were Kid Rock.

And then there was this other guy “The Baritone” who apparently beat Britney Spears in Star Search and is a huge Broadway star (Watch an interview with him here! ). He was amazing. He moved his mouth around a bunch while he was singing to make the sound come out better. He looked like Eric Roach if Eric Roach didn’t look like Eric Roach at all and was gay!

Finally there was this really awesome lady singer who had a bunch of really pretty purple dresses and sometimes wore a studded leather jacket. I think she was on Flavor Flav or Rock of Love or one of those celebrity love shows and that’s how she got famous. But boy is she talented in singing too!

And then there was also a choir who came out sometimes. They were great. Big theatre spectacles are awesome for choral performers because they don’t have to sing as much and can concentrate on the intricate choreography (which added a great deal to the spectacle).

It was a really awesome play/show/concert that got even more awesome at the end when the choir and all of the lead singers came out to do that Hallelujah Chorus part that everyone knows, and they let/made us sing it with them too because they know that everyone knows that part! Audience participation is my favorite, especially when I’m in the front row and can’t escape the desperate, pleading stare of the performers! I was so full of the spirit that I ran out of the theatre in the middle of it to spread the word.

While it was totally awesome and inspiring especially in this Holiday Season, I do have a few criticisms. They kept the stupid old strings and brass parts that made it sound like Handel a little bit, but I think the band could have rocked the fuck out more if they had some Vanessa Mae electro violins and maybe invented an electro horn or something for the show. Electric technology makes everything sound way better, and especially rock more. Also, none of the choir performers were credited in the program, which was lame because I thought I knew some of them and wanted to see how they got that job.

But all in all, it was a truly inspiring performance. It was only here this weekend, and has to move on to another city, but I wanted to get this out there so you can catch it in your town. I’ve got news for you people: if you thought that classical choral works were stupid, and that Jesus wasn’t cool anymore, you’ve got another thing coming. He is risen…TO ROCK!


A

The Comedy of Errors - Court Theatre (theater review by guest bloggers Michael Peters and Jessie Fisher)

Jessie: Oh man, if I have to sit through ONE MORE play that focuses on the xenophobic consequences of economic turmoil, I’m going to...

Michael: Boy howdy. I hate things that do with things that happen now. Which is why I’m glad I got a chance to see Comedy of Errors down at Court Theatre on the campus of University of Illinois at Chicago last weekend.

Jessie: I was there too. Last weekend. That University sure knows how to throw money at a problem, and by a problem, I mean Sean Graney. This was a college production, right?

Michael: It must be. They can’t get very many actors into their queer theatre department, so there were only six of them. But what windows! Man, they put all kinds of money into windows. Which is good, saves on heating costs in the winter time.

Jessie: I will say, for college kids, they were pretty good. I’m not going to say great or professional, because they aren’t, but pretty good.

Michael: So, this play. Comedy of Errors is I guess about these two dudes who show up in this place and then get mistaken for these other dudes that already live there who talk a little different but look like the other dudes. Like, a lot.

Jessie: Yeah, for example: Alex Goodrich plays twin servants named Bro-meo. One is real foppish and muppet like. The other one, like, cares about his job. And doesn’t make as many dick jokes. That’s hows you can tell ‘em apart. Hey, speaking of muppets, you can check out the Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.

Michael: Aw, totally! That’s right nearby! I wish I had seen that play this week so I could have gone to that great exhibit first and had a good time before I went to a boring play. But anyway, Bro-meo’s boss/friend (played by Erik Hellman) is this guy Aristotle (and both of these guys, well, all four of these guys I guess have the same name, I mean, two of the guys...whatever. You’d totally get it if you saw it next week before it closes) and one of the Aristotles totally sounds like one of the Jersey Shore Boys.

Jessie: Note to reality TV casting directors: If you ever need to cast an Aryan Jersey Shore, call Erik Hellman.

Michael: Um, and me. Hello? I totally drink Becks and am German.

Jessie: Oh man, that’s true. What would your German Jersey Shore nickname be?

Michael: Herr-y?

Jessie: Oy.

Michael: Ja vohl! Anyhow, so these guys are getting mistaken for their identical looking and exactly named counterparts and they have these crazy wives who love these dudes and keep mistaking the other dudes for their dudes.

Jessie: Those wives are all played by Stacy Stoltz and Elizabeth Ledo. Who have really been given some great opportunities in this community, considering they are college students.

Michael: I was just happy to be a replacement in a late-night production of Psycho Beach Party at the Bailiwick when I was in college, and these chicks are tearing it up! Stacy Stoltz does more shows than Zero Mostel. And he’s dead!

Jessie: AND, she is totally dating the quarterback of the football team named Matt Hawkins.

Michael: Yeah, both their names and genetics are totally cut out for their chosen careers.

Jessie: Keep your eye on these kids, they might just make something of themselves once they graduate.

Michael: But back to that play thing. So this mistaken stuff goes on and on after we’ve gotten the gist of the joke in the first ten minutes. I heard this dumb writer dragged this out for, like, two and a half hours. I would have probably carved my chest out like a pumpkin (Halloween!) if I had to sit through one more minute of “Oh, you were there? I was here! No, you was there! I am was!” stuff.

Jessie: Thankfully, this turkey (Thanksgiving!) has been carved apart masterfully by the electric knife hands of Sean Graney. So it’s short and dumb. And has more blowjob jokes than you can shake a drumstick at.

Michael: Also, there’s some other college students whom I’ve seen in other Sean Graney plays, Kurt Ehrmann and Swarthy Steve Wilson really outdo themselves being a bunch of different parts other than themselves. There was one other woman in it too who was this totally sexy whore that made me feel all tingly, I’m not sure she was an actress, but I’d definitely like to hit it.

Jessie: I am pretty sure she was a real live whore that just wandered into the theatre. And everyone improvised around her.

Michael: I don’t care who she was. The PACKAGE on that girl. Daaaaaaaay-UM!

Jessie: Settle down, Michael.

Michael: I’m sorry, I got excited over her ruffles. They have rrrrrridges.

Jessie: Did you just steal a “joke” from an early 90’s chip commercial?

Michael: ...what?

Jessie: So anyway, at the end, every thing gets straightened out in a disco abbey, just like Shakespeare intended.

Michael: Yeah, the lighting design by TV’s Melissa Heather Gilbert in that part really set the mood. And it reminded me of that whot whore again. Which reminds me of her now...

Jessie: You should probably fill out a missed connection on craigslist for her. If she comes back to you, it was meant to be...

Michael: We’ve got to finish this up so I can wander 55th street with a flashlight and a metal detector. Whores like that always leave a trail of nickel-plated jewelry.

Jessie: Sounds like a safe plan. So shall we wrap this up?

Michael: Indeed.

Jessie: I give this play an A. Because the Hypocrites are the only theatre company that will hire me so I have to stay on their good side.

Michael: I’ll give it an A too, an A for the Aggravated Sexual Assault I’ll be committing on the South Side in about an hour. Whee!

Frost/Nixon at TimeLine Theatre (BY GUEST REVIEWERS MICHAEL PETERS AND JESSIE FISHER)

Michael: Wow, I totally love going to openings of things. I went to this one at Remy Bumppo which was a totally awesome spectacle, opening of the Apple Store in Naperville, and the grand opening of the Big Lots! on Diversey all in the same month! I got a great deal on those 4 packs of Cadbury Eggs! Yummy!

Jessie: Well, Michael, I attended the Frost/Nixon opening at Timeline theatre. You know, Timeline? That theatre where you performed in the hit musical Altar Boyz for two years with Will Allan?

Michael: I’m not familiar. Do you mean TimeLine?

Jessie: Oh...must be thinking of a different theatre then. But doesn’t Will Allan kind of look like Justin Bieber’s gay sister?

Michael: Oh yeah, totally. He’s got that look DOWN. But wait, let’s back up a second. You were at the grand opening of Frost/Nixon at TimeLine Theatre as well? That was the other totally awesome thing I was able to go to the other night! You were there?

Jessie: I was totes there. I saw you, but you were singing show tunes and weeping with the other Altar Boyz so I didn’t want to interrupt the ritual. Well, hey, now we can review that play, I guess.

Michael: I guess. Well, first and foremost, what hairlines! Hairlines in the 1970s were totally in! Big ones, widow’s peaks, thinning, none, what amazing freedom they must have had! I think that was after birth control and before, like, STDs and stuff, so everyone wanted to have really awesome hairlines to do it with. Chicks dig ‘em, don’t they?

Jessie: Hmm, yeah, I guess that’s true. Now that AIDS are around, I just don’t care about hairlines like I used to in the 70’s.

Michael: So, is this the part where we recap the plot for everyone who didn’t see the movie?

Jessie: Can they just YouTube the movie? I mean, do we have to explain everything? Like the political background leading up to the events? Do the readers of this blog know who Nixon was and all the amazing things he did?

Michael: I know, right? He totally brought Vietnam to an end and ushered in a new era of international diplomacy. He also totally undermined the people’s authority to have control of their government and stuff. Which was lame, so I guess that’s what most of the play was about. Like, how lame that was. And that, like, he should answer for it. Or something.

Jessie: But the man was a Quaker. Does that count for nothing anymore? Its like having an Aztec president basically because I’m pretty sure the Quakers have all died out.

Michael: They live on on oatmeal boxes at least. Well, alright, so there’s this preening English prick named David Frost (played by some aptly cast American named Andrew Carter) who’s like only a little famous, like Steve Zahn famous, and he wants to be, like, Jimmy Fallon famous. So he thinks interviewing Richard Nixon will make him Jimmy Fallon!

Jessie: I always confuse Steve Zahn and Giovanni Ribisi. Did they both play mentally challenged dudes?

Michael: I think they are the same mentally challenged dude, actually.

Jessie: Wow, lets move on before we lose our core audience.

Michael: So he decides to pay a bunch of money to Richard Nixon to get some interviews with him so that he can make him admit he’s a failure and a jerk. But, like, Richard Nixon is totally a smart guy so it’s really hard for him to be honest about stuff.

Jessie: Once you get him liquored up, its a different story.

Michael: Boy howdy! Can that man spew some truth! Every bit of that scene where he calls Frost all drunk rings like church bells on Sunday.

Jessie: I don’t get it because I’m Jewish.

Michael: Sorry, like...temple...chimes on...Saturday?

Jessie: Acceptable. We love chimes. Continue.

Michael: Cool. They go into the interviews and Frost is totally worthless and Nixon just talks over him and stuff and Frost gets, like, nothing out of him. So Frost goes home and gets blown by his hot English girlfriend and he has an epiphany! He goes to the last day of the interviews with both feet swinging, and the intellectual thrust and parry that ensues! Mwah! I could hardly keep up. Those guys are totally awesome at talking!

Jessie: So true! And when they aren’t awesome at talking, their sidekicks jump in and awesome talk for them. Like that guy who was played by Sam Rockwell in the movie. And the other guy who was played by Kevin Bacon in the movie.

Michael: Wow, those guys were cool too. Let’s just call them Sam Rockwell and Kevin Bacon from here on. And we’ll call the Nixon guy Frank Langella.

Jessie: Do we need all this background stuff? I mean, would that lady critic of the Tribune provide a backstory? We are professionals, Michael. I didn’t make these “professional critic” T-shirts for nothing.

Michael: I thought you did make them for nothing, you have your own silk-screen process in your bathroom, don’t you?

Jessie: Yeah, but that is for the clients. I just wrote in Sharpie over my Cubs t-shirt. I guess I wasn’t really committed to the idea.

Michael: So then they talk some more, and Nixon almost cries and stuff because he blurts out that he’s an illegal immigrant or something, and apparently that was bad because...

Jessie: Wait, shouldn’t we leave the end as a big surprise?

Michael: You’re right, I got totally excited from all the jabs and thrusts from Frost and Nixon. You all should just go see it. Nobody can possibly know what happens unless they go see the show (or rent the movie, or watch the actual interviews, or read the many books by various firsthand participants in the interviews)!

Jessie: Well, I will say I liked this show. It was like watching a boxing match minus the awkward and violent homoerotic vibes and blood.

Michael: I agree, I’ll say I liked it too. Except I saw it before on a pirated DVD my roommate had, and we all know that theatre can never be as good as a movie because they’re more expensive. Just ask Michael Bay. He did a really terrible production of The Emperor Jones that I saw. Fine direction, but it was bad because there wasn’t any money.

Jessie: So go see Frost/Nixon. And write a better review than we just did. I dare you.