Namosaur by Scott Oken (Factory Theater)

In my opinion, there are 3 kinds of Factory Theater plays.

#1. Soldiers/Heroes face off against a maniacal bad guy.

#2. A bunch of people have dance battles against other people.

#3. Other.

My favorite has always been the first. There are a few reasons why, and let me tell them to you.

Factory plays have a great and storied history of making meandering, ridiculous sagas that travel to the ends of the Earth and back again. In the end, we laugh, we fear for our safety, and we bring our own beer. The quality is always high, but you will find yourself with favorites. For instance, Matt Engle has emerged as a first rate director who understands the nuances of comedy. Corri Pasko and Sara Sevigny write crazy popular woman based comedies, but my favorite director is Manny Tamayo. Tamayo understands the cinematic scope of the insane stories and brings a film maker's eye to the Prop Theater.

Namosaur is the story of a group of soldiers and 2 ladies who have to go through the jungle for some reason and there are dinosaurs there and some crazy Korean Baptist preacher named Nguyen Nguyen. This dude has some dinosaur eggs on a necklace and he trapped one of the ladies and told her about them or something and she wrote it down in a notebook. It's not important. What IS important is that there are DINOSAURS in VIETNAM!!

How has no one thought of this yet? It seems like a classic idea.
Well, good on you, Scott Oken. You are a visionary.

Usually in the hero/soldier plays, The Factory needs to bring in some talent that you haven't seen before on that stage (because their ensemble is too famous for themselves anymore), and gives people who you have seen in smaller roles a chance to shine. Case in point in Namosaur; Tim Amos. One of my favorite red-haired, dolphin-tattooed gentlemen has been seen as various unlikeables including pornographers, casino owners and Irish detectives. In Namosaur he finally gets his chance to shine as a leader of a bunch of ingrate soldiers in the middle of the harsh woodlands of Vietnam. Amos' cigar chomping Lieutenant is abrasive and noisy, while still being cuddly and having short hair. Sort of like Meg Ryan.

Tim Amos tells these broads what's what.

The Factory uses the role of "the villain" to showcase some of their incredible comic talent. I have seen Steve Walker in Top Shelf, Dan Granata in League Of Awesome, but never have I ever seen a villain played with the robust testicles as Eric Roach in Namosaur.

Here's the beautiful thing about Eric Roach as a comedian and something the rest of you need to learn: He doesn't even care of you are there or not. He does not need your laughs because his confidence in his performance does not rise and fall with audience approval.

In my opinion that is the greatest thing a comic can do.

This is from a different play, but Roach sort of looks the same!

Roach plays Nguyen Nguyen, a German dinosaur scientist that moves to Vietnam to make dinosaurs, I think. I was laughing too hard to hear what he was saying.


Anyway, what I am trying to say is, if you have never seen a Factory show, this is the one for you to see. If you have, then you know what I'm talking about.

After the show is out, I can finally ask you:

DO YOU LIKE IT!!?


A+

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

9 to 5 (Broadway in Chicago)

Sometimes, being a reviewer is super fun! We get tickets to all the hottest times in Chicago and the suburbs. Now since my partner Eric was in tech for his new show, I got a chance to go down and see the magnificent and legendary Dolly Parton at the opening of her musical 9 to 5.

The night was filled with excitement as I walked through the cold in the loop to the Bank of America Theater. What a romantic name for a theater! I mean, why get caught up in fancy names that bring mystique and delight to your patrons when you can name it after a group of filthy money lenders who destroyed our economy and sacrificed our well being for profits? I can see why you'd name it the Palace or the Majestic or the Neptunian, but I want to know where all this money is coming from.

And money there was, friends!

When I arrived, I was herded off the red carpet because Ms. Parton herself would be arriving in a moment to tempt us with her country girl smile and traffic cone sized hooters. Well, within a half hour there she was, shaking hands and talking to all of her fans, just like she is famous for.

That's what I WOULD be saying if she didn't show up and immediately go inside leaving all these crazy people with signs who couldn't afford tickets to this thing alone and sad.

A Sad Fan

Once I made my way inside and to my seat I was able to really take in the full glory of the old Bank Of America Theater.
You know how you can tell if a theater is fancy? Look at the ceiling. If the ceiling looks like a cake you would see at a King's wedding, then you are in a fancy theater. DON'T EAT THE CEILING!!!

Cake Ceiling

My enthusiasm was even harder to contain when Governor Pat Quinn came on stage and named January 19th Dolly Parton Day in Chicago!! Then the Queen came out and graced us! It was incredible! We sang her "Happy Birthday" and we all cheered! The energy and excitement in the room was palpable and new! We were in the presence of a national treasure and none of us would ever forget this breathtaking moment of gaiety!!

You can't tell here, but that's Pat Quinn onstage.

Then the show started and all the excitement and exuberance in the whole world vanished.

It starts simple enough. There is a 20 minute version of the hit song "9 to 5" where every character (and some dudes who you never see again) come out and tell us about what they do in the morning before they go to work. Some of them go into the kitchen and pour themselves a cup of ambition. Others yawn and stretch and try to come to life. Others still, brush their teeth and put on pants. Some make lunch for their kids. Some take the dog for a walk. So many people doing such terribly uninteresting things.

After this opening number, I could hear the patrons behind me saying things like "What IS this?" and "How could this be?"

Unfortunately there was no time to answer them because it was right into another number that sounded exactly the same as the one before, except this one was about what you do when you get to work. Then after that number, there was another one that sounded exactly the same except this one was about being a new girl in an office. And on and on and on.

These songs were luckily broken up from time to time by some world class and truly incredible actors with the most astonishing voices you've ever heard giving the dullest performances of their lifetimes and saying lines that I bet they never thought they would have to say.

You see, when you are an actor and have a family and join a union, you don't get to do a lot of things for the "art" anymore. What you mainly get to do is musicals for elderly people.

This play is based on the movie "9 to 5" that was a huge hit in the 80's starring Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton and Dabney Coleman. The movie was an important piece about women's inequality in the work place, and while that may have been the case then, this musical is not. The show is still set in the early 80's and they sure do let you know.

Imagine for a second that this production is a poorly fashioned outhouse and sitting on top of it is a 10,000 pound coffin, full of it's own irony.
Here are some of the lines you can expect to hear:

"When I was a girl, blackberries and apples were things I used to pick behind the barn!"
"My son wants something called...an Atari!?"
"They are installing something called...an answering machine!!!?"
and
"It sure is GROOVY to have a lot of pubes!"

I could go on about the clunky set pieces and weirdo lighting, but here's the deal:

There's a difference between art and entertainment. People don't wanna just see art.
So the next time you are thinking about doing a one man Woyzeck with a surprise ending, realize that no one wants to see it.
On the other hand a show like 9 to 5 has nothing to offer us. There is literally NO message at all and will only be authentically enjoyed in Branson.
So we need to find some middle ground where we can say what we want, but dress it up as a neat thing for people to sing along with, or at least laugh a little.

Continuing to make art for art's sake will keep us as the second best theatre town. You gotta give people a little something to be happy they traveled from the suburbs to sit in your cold and weird little storefront theatre, and while Steppenwolf can do a Sara Kane play or a Simon Stephens play about drinking yourself to death, make sure you can do it great, or we all will suffer.

Anyway, seeing Dolly was cool and in the end, I have no regrets about going. It was a chance to kind of space out and think about grocery shopping.

If you need to make a grocery list, this play is for you!



C


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

Star Wars 1 or 4 "A New Hope" or "Regular Star Wars" (Movie/Lifestyle)

Star Wars is a film and merchandise phenomenon that has taken the world by storm. Here, we dig deep into the plot of Star Wars 4: "Regular Star Wars".
This is what all the fuss is about...

Star Wars 1: "Regular Star Wars"
In a galaxy far far away, the entire universe is in a civil war. The words scrolling across the screen have told us that the world is in peril, and that this happened a long time ago, when things were easier. Everyone dressed just like it was 1979 though. Maybe it was so long ago, that it was like, -1979 so they all looked the same. I bet all there pubic hair styles were 1979 style also. Or as they say, -1979.
Princess Leah, the Princess of Algernon, has had enough of this universal civil war, that encompasses the entire universe, and is going to fix it. She is in charge of a group of people who clearly don't want to win a war because they are being led by a woman. Anyway, I'm pretty sure a tractor beam (from Star Trek) brings her into the Death Star.
The Death Star is a big planet looking black thing where everybody lives. Well, not everybody, but at least the Grandma Tarkin and Darth Vader. Darth Vader isn't even the boss though, which seems to me that if you dressed like that, and were just salary like everybody else, you might be spending some time in HR for insubordination. I know he is more important than the regular storm troopers, but it still seems like sort of a slap in the face to his superiors. Maybe he could just not shave instead, or wear a hilarious tie, or screw his boss' wife like the rest of us.
So Grandma Tarkin and his boys are all cruising around in this spaceship called "Death Star" just macking on space hos. I bet there is a sweet bar on the Death Star called the "Death Bar" which is sort of a play on words.
Luckily before the Princess was captured, she sent a hologram message, which is like an email except no one can really see it because she put it in this dude named R2D2 who talks with beeps and horn blasts and whistles and whatever else dumb noises they could find. But everybody can understand him except for us, the people watching the movie, so maybe they should rethink that. Because if there is anybody who should understand what everyone is saying, it should be us, the people watching this thing.
So this guy and his buddy, C-3PO (who doesn't do anything, and is just another message about American's excessiveness, that we would make a robot that doesn't do shit but talk like a gay British guy) wind up in this hillbilly planet at the towing yard with this dude who works there named Luke Skywalker with his mom and dad, Bill and Gladys. So Luke is all cleaning these motherfuckers when the thing turns on and he sees the Princess telling him that she needs help. So it's kinda like a message in a bottle. So hopefully this was the Princess' backup plan because this was a terrible idea, the more I think about it.
Well down the street in the creepy house lives this dude. Now I do appreciate this part of the story, because it is a shout out to "To Kill a Mockingbird".
In "Mockingbird", there was a guy who lived down the street named Boo Radley. Well, the Skywalkers have an old retard too, named Obi Kenobi. If you rearrange the letters in his name you get Ken Obiobi, who is the actor that played Boo Radley. Look it up.
Anyway, Obi is like, the jam ninja or Brazilian street fighter or whatever equivalent you think there is, but instead in this place, they call him a Jedi.
Jedis are like super good at fighting and reading and focusing on shit. So Luke asks this dude Obi to help him get the princess, but Obi is all like, you have to do it on your own, because Jedi blah blah blah.
So then Luke needs a space boat to get the princess from the Death Star so he calls Han Solo, who used to be his really cool stepdad that played in a band and smoked. Han Solo is like...Indiana Jones except he wears a vest and is a pilot. Sounds pretty gay, eh? Well it would sound gay, if I didn't tell you that he cruises around the galaxy looking for trouble with his big hairy friend that doesn't wear pants. Now who's gay?
So they set something up, and they go to the Death Star wear they are not welcome, and are jailed and sent to some garbage room where the walls and ceiling close in on them and they have to go back out. Now they are part of the rebel force, even though I'm not sure what they are rebelling against. Shouldn't the Death Star guys be the rebels?
Hey, I didn't write this fucking garbage.
Anyway, Obi Kenobi comes and has a fight with Darth Vader, (who still isn't the boss) and he dies, not Darth, but Kenobi dies and also leaves a hologram message in the robot guys and C-3PO acts like a dainty little lady, and the Luke has to fight Darth Vader (even though he isn't the boss) but to get to Grandma Tarkin, first you must Jedi or something or other, and then Luke finds out that Darth was his dad and that he also is a Jedi, so they have a ninja fight on top of this....ridiculous cliff in the middle of a ship. Why would you build that? Also, why would you name your ship the Death Star?
Anyway, Luke and fruity Han and Co. get the Princess and they take off to this planet that looks like Mexico and they all eat dragon meat or whatever animals they have on MexTon 6.

I think this is a great movie.
B-
* Writer's note- I have never seen Star Wars because when I was little my mom wouldn't let me watch it and now I'm too old to start watching new things.
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach