Big Love (Chicago Fusion Theatre) (Audience Review)

Upon entering the Royal George Theatre’s third-floor studio space, Chicago Fusion Theatre’s mostly non-Equity audience expertly contained its disappointment at the realization that the show it was attending would not, in fact, be an adaptation of the Bill Paxton multi-wife star vehicle, Big Love. That bold and impetuous effervescence was just one of many surprising treats gifted last Thursday at the mass’s five billionth appearance: Big Love.

Founded between 550 and 250 BC, audience has long upheld a proud tradition of listening to what is being said, occasionally reacting, and ultimately applauding upon completion of a given work. While only mildly distracted by cell phone usage and some late-game restroom sprinting, audienceBigLove grounded its assemblage in an honest enthusiasm that has long been the trademark of the Chicago style (prior digressions into the oft-imitated and experimental “non-appreciative” New York approach have never been entirely successful for the collective).

As expected, the dimming of the house lights roused audienceBigLove into an attentive state. With eyes and hearts taking in exposition after plot point after inciting incident, audienceBigLove proved how truly present it was (as always, clear boundaries were established with a lack of talking during those first, important moments). I must say, though: I feel (and pray) that audience is reaching the end of its love affair with pre and initial show respect. I would love to see audience taking some risks the next time out. AudienceBigLove proved itself to be memorable and supportive, but a few grunts and cat-calls may help audience reach new pinnacles of excellence in the craft (as seen during the golden age of Vaudeville/vegetable flinging).

All personal preference aside, audienceBigLove brought its biggest grins and most boisterous laughs to play with, last weekend. During a particularly exhilarating sequence, audienceBigLove, starting first with some scattered chortles, built a magnificent cascade of laughs around an especially arresting bout of tomato squeezing. Fresh varietals of joy were poured out during a bathtub-bound serenade as well. Moments like that really remind you why you go to the audience.

It’s comforting to know that after hundreds of tens of decades, audience still knows how to appreciate one heck of a show.

AudienceBigLove: A-

-John Taflan

Your Theater Company's Sustainability (Theater)

So, I hear you theater company is broke. I hear you are waiting on grants to come in. I hear your individual donations are down. You are having a hard time keeping your board members.
Well, friends, let's take a look at this!

1. Product:
When I was a kid, a store opened by my house in Louisville, Kentucky that sold things for your kitchen with olive patterns all over them. Spatulas and martini shakers and aprons and olives. And they ALL had olive patterns on them. Now, this store didn't last too long, and do you know why? The answer is because it is a shitty idea and olives are the wrong thing. If you put penises on the aprons or Looney Tunes characters on the spatulas, maybe you would stay in business.
That's the thing with a business, you have to sell something that enough people want for you to be successful. So maybe you should think about if your theater company sucks and sells olive martini shakers when I can go to Target and get a martini shaker with the Rolling Stones logo on it.
2. Evolution:
Sometimes things don't go the way you thought they were going to go. I could've sworn I was going to be a woman. Or at least Puerto Rican or Jewish, but fate had it's own agenda. Now I'm just a regular looking white dude, which has it's benefits, but at the end of the day I look just like most other people in our industry. That means I'm competing for work against Rob McLean, Geoff Button, Rob Kauzlaric, John Steinhagen, John Wilson and Trey Maclin. How do I do that?
Well, history tells me that if you want to survive in a hostile environment, you need to grow plates on your back or get an antler or something.
You need some tool to make you different and help you fend off predators and make people want to see YOU and not the House Theater. For example, I can put my leg behind my head and I'd like to see Dave Skvarla try that.
What can you offer me that I can't get elsewhere?
Seanachai has the market cornered on Irish people for example, so don't start another Irish company or you will probably fail.
3. Survival:
Everybody needs money, but do you really think that Chase Community money will really save you? It won't. Don't get me wrong, it can definitely help you out, but in the long run, you are going to need to make some changes. Let's take a look at the Journeymen. The Journeymen began in 1994, and in 1998 David Cromer directed the definitive American production of Angels in America, which got national interest in Chicago again until we blew it with Hizzoner. But the Journeymen couldn't survive with this one show! So they hunkered down and waited for their chance to shine again and now here they are with some sort of gay Romeo and Juliet which I bet is good but I probably won't see because Shakespeare with gay characters is like an olive shaped meat tenderizer to me. But they waited and lasted for the right time to make a peice of art that they NEEDED to make for whatever reason, and now they are back on top! Way to go Journeymen!

So listen gang, let's all take care of each other and get each others backs during this financial storm and also, stop making shitty plays. People love plays about politics and Ghostbusters, so just remember that. Also, please vote for my theater company in the Chase Giving, it just takes a minute and blah blah blah ;owiugahfweab

Your Theater Company
A+

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach