Wassup! Magazine (Magazine)

I am a curious guy. I need to know a lot of things all the time, and I feel like most of us in the information age are the same. If I'm looking for tickets to a play or ballgame, I can hop on the internet and find the information I'm looking for. If I need to know what the word 'miasma' means, I can find that out too.
But our culture of instant information has left us with a few holes in the Chicago area. Not everything makes it to the web as quickly as we need it to. This is why we need a free monthly publication of bar advertisements and articles about bars. For those of us who thrive in the bar and pub scene, staying on top of the newest and coolest places is essential.
For example, how many times have you been with some friends on a Friday night and wondered, "Where can I go to find some fat girls in Blackhawks jerseys?"
Do you think you can find that out on the internet? No. You can not.

While I write this in August, I am sitting down with a fresh July issue of Wassup! Magazine and I can tell you where to go for fat girls in Blackhawks jerseys in June. Wanna know where it is? It is Trinity Pub at 5943 N. Northwest Highway. It is also at Fiesta Cantina at 3407 N. Clark St. It is also at Moretti's at 6727 N. Olmstead.
I am starting to see a trend here. In fact, every bar in this magazine has a picture of 5 or 6 fat people looking at the camera, smiling with big red cheeks and red shirts with Chief Blackhawk on it.
Did you know that the Blackhawks won the hockey World Series? Is that on the internet?
Nope, but it's in Wassup! Magazine.



Now I know I'm not the only guy in town who is looking for a "Blow Pop" shot on a Monday night at 1am because the bartender of the month makes them. His name is Joe Zelenka and for his softball team he always makes "Mexican Standoffs" for the players.
Do you think you can learn that on the internet?

I'm sure that Wassup! Magazine has a website, but why would you go to it? You can get all this information from this magazine that you can pick up sometimes in Lincoln Park some places, and also maybe in Wrigleyville.
It's convenient, it's full of valuable information and jokes.
I don't wanna ruin these classic jokes for you, so I will just give you two punch lines from jokes inside Wassup! Magazine.

#1. A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is a fire across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking the operation was unsuccessful"

#2. "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

This magazine has it all, and it is free! Is the internet free, jerks?

Do you know where to see "Sinzation Male Revue" now in it's sixth hot year?
Nope.

So dudes, please don't knock Wassup! Magazine till you've really given it a sweet look.
There is a crossword puzzle and a cartoon of old people talking about Twitter and also some limosine company advertisements.

Now go party with some friends and maybe YOU can wind up in this amazing piece of media!

Wassup Magazine - A+
Internet- F-


-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

No Exit- The Hypocrites (Theater Review)

No Exit is a famous college play from the 40's about three people who are stuck in a little room where they have to sit next to each other.

One guy is a German Nazi who escaped the war and went to Brazil.
One lady is a Mexican postal worker that looks like Sherlock Holmes.
One lady is a whore.

In the play No Exit, these characters are forced to deal with the weirdo lesbian postal worker as she gropes at the whore and uses all the toothpaste. Then at the end, they realize that hell is actually just being around other people in a little room.

If this play was written nowadays, this would be happening on the #36 Broadway bus, right here in Chicago. Man, one time I was on that bus, and this guy was throwing up in the back and this old lady was complaining about it next to me, and then we got stuck in the Gay Pride Parade. So I know what they are going through.

Sean Graney has turned this once innocent and revealing sketch of human thoughts into another tour-de-vagina for the Hypocrites at the Athaneum Theatre. Jesus, Lord above, I have never been inside a worse theater in my life. Not only are the seats uncomfortable, but the clientele... yuck.

When the curtains opened, when I thought I couldn't take anymore of these grease balls kicking the back of my chair, I saw before me the most exhillarating set I've ever seen.

Now I know you all will think I am joking, but in all seriousness; the set is the inside of a vagina. I'm not joking. It is a cavernous pink waiting room with a sideways door (vagina opening) in the back, two globes (ovaries) downstage, and a giant clitoris statue in the middle of the room that they all rub through the show.

I'm serious.

Graney has really outdone himself this time. I had thought I had seen everything.

Now, in addition to the set, it wouldn't be a Graney play unless everyone talked at the same time with music playing too, and he would not disappoint. This play had everything.

And readers, I know you know what a huge fan I am of Rob McLean, and I was so lucky to see him in this play as Gomez or some other name that he made up when he fled the Allies in Europe. God, is he incredible. This Rob McLean has really grown as an actor in the last few years, I mean really grown into himself. Now is that because he has been gray since he was 17? I'm not here to judge him, for he is glorious.

Also in the play was Samantha Gleisten which I'm not entirely sure isn't Kevin O'Donnell with a wig on, but either way, really nice specific choices, Kev.

Erin Barlow gives the finest performance of her nubile 21 year life as a blonde girl who thinks she is better than me. And whom could forget the amazing and adaptive John Taflan as the Duke of Cercey or something, because he is dressed like an old fashioned British fellow and nobody else dressed like that, but maybe that's HIS Hell, because he just wanted to fit in, but somebody told him it was a costume party and now he's gonna go cry like a fat girl in the bathroom for an hour.

All in all, people talk a lot in Hell, about shit that doesn't always necessarily make so much sense. But you can always look into an ovary and see your family that you left behind.

No Exit

B

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach