Now, this is not an encyclopedia service, but every once in a while a year or another piece of history will stand out and speak to me or Eric in a way you can't describe with words. It's like an angel has come down from the rafters of Heaven and touched my shoulder and made me walk into the other room and opened a book and in that very book is a page that says the word "1997" and then I know that's what I need to review for you.
To write about an entire year is very difficult for a reviewer. Do I hit the big historical implications of that year, or do I spend time with how that year helped to mold me and the effects on the rest of my famed, storied years?
Well, let's start with the big stuff.
MCMXCVII is a thing that happened almost 20 years ago.
There was an inauguration of Bill Clinton. Many died in an Israeli helicopter crash. The Dow closed over 7k for the first time ever.Notorious B.I.G. was brutally murdered in a fried chicken house. Billy Crystal hosted the Oscars. Weirdos thought they would be picked up by a comet and killed themselves, making it next to impossible to board a comet.
But what REALLY happened that year?
I filled out many college applications, that's for sure. I physically loved high school girls for the last time, so far. I smoked as much weed as I could find. My favorite drink was Dr. Pepper.
Internets poured out of every computer, soft and smooth. Everyone bought shares in Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and drove Corvettes.
No one had heard of Judge Mathis yet. Boy were they in for a SHOCK!!!!
We were an innocent nation, in an ugly world. We hadn't yet begun to fight in misplaced wars, or blindly drive up the stock market. OJ was innocent, and so were we. Our hands were clean from the blood of our naysayers and dancing to the smokey beats of a new millennium around the corner.
Well, I hope you guys are happy because those days don't exsist anymore.
Because of YOU, we dance in darkness. Because of YOU, Tiger Woods is hurting. Because of YOU, Julius Chan has resigned as Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea, ending the Sandline Affair.
Here is a poem from that, the year when we lost our hymen of innocence:
" I wanted so badly to tell you that I loved you. The words, each time, graced my lips like an impostor, only to fall away like some great blizzard that was taken out to sea to rain it's fury on the dark ocean, alone, unbeknwowsnt to any hearing... And whether that day is tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or next lifetime...I will finally get to tell you to your sweet face. The face I will miss more than I could ever tell, that...I love You. And you'll smile wryly, close your eyes, say 'catch me baby,'...and fall. "
So let that be the beacon that glides you down the wicked hearth you have created, America.
This world was supposed to be fun and wild, and you have made it deep and autistic.
1997, you are still in my teary eyes, if I look into that yearbook and wish like I had once wished before for another Dr. Pepper.
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach