Monday, March 21, 2011

10 Women of Chicago Theatre

Every year the heat is on! We are proud to present for 2011, the 10 Women of Chicago Theatre.

These women have done plays, sang songs and entertained us. By us, we mean the men of Chicago Theatre, who have graciously allowed them all to use their spare time to be on stage, at least until we deem them responsible for raising our children!

Now we bet you are wondering, “Why aren’t you judging men, also?”

The reason is because there are so many talented male performers and directors and playwrights and designers, that there’s no way we could catalogue all that aptitude and skill. So instead, we have compiled 10 women’s names, because they seem like nice ladies who might date us.

So congratulations, women. Here are your new heroes:

Ann Sonneville - Ann’s that girl that you wish was a total bitch, because she’s so awesome you want to Source Code her boyfriend.

Emily Casey - Neither of us really know this person, but she smells like a meadow and makes you think of unicorns and waterparks.

Sarah Rose Graber - This eternally happy woman may make you mad about your own depression, but her positivity is only outweighed by the sheer number of plays she does.

Katie McLean Hainsworth - I put Katie in that category of women who would totally be cool with dressing in a Princess Leia bikini for her man.Kate Harris - Kate is that 42 year old hussy you all wish you were. She steals shows and gets naked sometimes and still gets parts written for 27 year olds.
Nikki Klix - Not only is Nikki about as sweet as a bucket of pie, she also sings and acts and plays an orchestra’s worth of instruments. Think about that the next time Megan Fox gets cast in something.
Lindsey Barlag - Ever heard of a little play called “CHERRYWOOD”?! She was the broad in the bathroom. Stop fronting on Lindsey Barlag, ladies.

Greta Honold - Greta is an anagram of great. Greta was great at getting us this awesome party at Chicago Shakespeare and she’s really attractive for a young, thin, blonde girl with everything going for them.

Lily Mojekwu - Lily is gorgeous and can hop on stage and absolutely destroy you. And she is so shy in real life, which is adorable. If anyone messes with her, we’ll kill them dead.

Madeline Long- Maddy Long is bringin' it, y'all! With her kitten face and cool French accent, she is incomparable among kittenfaced French chicks.


  1. Please post more names!

    Yay Madeline Long! :)

  2. I don't think they'll date you if you don't know their names ;)

  3. Love this. What happened to Katie's picture!! All blurrrry. xo

  4. Katie McLean HainsworthMarch 22, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Aw! Thanks, guys!