When was the last time you went to the Metro? I had never been before but had always heard about it. It's this big ole auditorium built in the 1700's where they used to have slave auctions or something I heard.
Anyway, now they don't use it for slave auctions anymore. Now they use it for gay robot dance troupes.
The opening act that was playing when we arrived was called "Battlestar Fantastica" and they are a variety show thing where a bunch of gay guys dress up in crazy clothes and do robot dances and stripper dances and stuff.
Now I'm an old fashioned dude and was hoping to see some more boobs or even perhaps a rogue dong. No such luck, because they are artists and artists don't just go flashing dongmeat to anybody. Instead they wear pasties and dance to Lionel Ritchie.
This has always been my main issue with the art form of Burlesque. The ancient technique of dance that involves dressing up like a Ninja or a schoolgirl, taking off your clothes but not showing any naked parts and dancing to a Poison song.
Poison would want you to take your clothes off and bang a bunch of audience members. So would Skid Row, but not Roxette.
Then there was a break in entertainment before the main event started. Now I don't know tons about the movie "Alien" or the band "Queen" but there were like 800 people there who were ready to rock, so I knew I needed to bone up FAST!
The idea of the show is pretty cool. These guys take the movie Alien and make it a stage musical with the songs of Queen.
I like some Queen songs and thought I knew a lot of them, but I guess I don't because I just knew like, 8 of them. They play a lot of deep cuts, which I bet is pretty exciting if you are a big fan.
Now, the movie Alien is a classic. It's about this spaceship that has robots and aliens and people and the guy screams "Game Over Man!!" in it. Everybody knows this movie so I don't feel like I need to describe it too much.
The Scooty and Jojo Show have done this sort of thing before with "Carpenter's Halloween" where they take the movie "Halloween" and mix it with the music of The Carpenters. It's this sort of kitschy thing that I bet a lot of people love because people like both of those things and why not have them together? Like chicken and waffles and porn and Nascar.
That makes me want to change my porn name to Dale Earnhard Jr. because people will recognize that name and maybe more people will buy my porn movies.
Anyway, listen gang. This show is really fun and the band kills it. The actors are great singers and just perfect for a room like this. So please go see this show so we can compare notes.
Plus, when was the last time you saw an awesome band play and had fun with your friends?