Taming of the Shrew- Chicago Shakespeare Theatre (Theatre Review)

Hey Iews fans! So, we got to see CST's Taming of the Shrew last night because we are heroes and CST gave us free tickets because we dared to tell the truth in a world of LIES! Here's how it all went!

Eric

So, Andy...what did you think of the framing device written by Mr. LaBute? Do you think that it served as an apology for Shakespeare's misogyny within the play that has posed a problem for a very long time?

Andy

I think all about that.

For example, when Lucentio comes on with Tranio and then they decide to switch clothes because the girl needs to learn at school

but the director older lady is banging the actress

man, those lobster claws were so good right?

Eric

Oh man...America, if you haven't gone to Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. yet, do yourself a favor. They were so good. And the cajun spices?

Andy

Man, I can't say enough good things about the spices. The whole environment there, really was incredible. So friendly.

Eric and I both had speckled lemonades from a very nice waitress.

Eric

She was a sweetheart, and knew so much Forrest Gump trivia. Like, did you know what kind of party Forrest got in trouble at with Jenny?

Andy

I said a "weird sex" party, and that scared her off a little, but she came back because she had to.

Eric

Right, because we had our "Stop, Forrest, Stop" license plate up.

Andy

That's what you put up when you want the waiters to come to your table.

Eric

Or to confuse them.

Andy

It's hard to say enough great things about Bubba Gump Shrimps Company.

Eric

Man, everything on the menu looked so good. I could just talk about the menu for an hour. I should have gotten the shrimp cocktail...DAMMIT!

Andy

You should've. I ordered a piece of shrimp cheesecake, but cancelled it at the last moment, because I can't just eat like that. I give myself excuses, and then I will become a blimp!

Eric

Shut up, you look great! Besides, it's just an excuse to get to the gym in the morning.

Andy

You are so right.

We also had a picture with a very "solid" Bob Newhart!!

Eric

Ha ha! That was so much fun. These pics make it look like we were having an incredible time.

Andy

Remember when we went to those statues of kids and we took one where you were getting kicked?!

Eric

Those were statues?

Andy

AHAHAHAHA!!!

Eric

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Andy

So then we had some shrimp, like we said before...

Eric

Right, and some cajun fish meat. The dish was called a "Bucket of Boat Trash" which is weird because most humans have an aversion to eating trash.

Andy

Not us though.

We paid $19.99 for some trash.

Eric

We go for the gusto.

Andy

Speaking of trash, when dinner was over, we headed over to the play.

Eric

Did we ever. Did you see how nice out it was Andy? I could have sat on that pier all night, eating scrimps, drinking lemonade, having a terrific evening.

Andy

Yeah! My lady friend came and met us too! Also, we met some other friends down there, and sat at the cheeseborger cheeseborger place and had $8 beers.

Eric

Oh boy...things were getting SO great. And then the play started.

Andy

Well, first of all, I tried to bring in some of that great lemonade from before.

Eric

You got reprimanded.

Andy

The "saint" (the old people that usher so that they can see plays for free) told me that there was no way I could bring it inside.

Eric

NO WAY.

Andy

I promptly told him that this was strike 1.

Eric

The theater is pretty nice though.

It's state of the art, because that's what is most important. Not the play, or the acting or anything.

Andy

Right. It's a state of the art update to the Globe Theatre in London England.

Same number of seats and everything.

Eric

Except much less black plague.

Andy

Also, less interesting plays.

Eric

It kind of made me long for a stabbing amond the groundlings...like in olden times.

Andy

Wait, do you mean among the groudlings?

Or stabbing almond groundlings?

Eric

Either way, someone dark skinned is gonna die.

Andy

Here Here!

Eric

The play starts with the LaBute induction scenes, which establish that we are watching a "dress rehearsal" of Taming of the Shrew.

Andy

Now, this rehearsal is just like a regular tech rehearsal, with all the zany characters you really meet in a cast, except there are also tons of hot lesbos that are getting it on all over the stage.

Eric

It was a total boner factory at first. I thought I was in boner town!

Andy

You were, because I was sitting next to you, and I had a boner too.

So once the play began, we were transported to fair Padua, in Italy.

Eric

We all know the story, right? Do we REALLY have to get into it? I mean, they even pulled this shit out on Moonlighting.

Young sister = hot.

Older sister = hot, but a total bitch.

Andy

Well, apparently Chicago Shakespeare Theater didn't think there were enough subplots going on, so they added a few.

To their point though, there are only 73 substories in Shrew.

Eric

It's like Shakespeare used a Magic 8-Ball to write his plays.

"Should I have a master and servant do a switcheroo here?"

"SIGNS POINT TO YES."

Andy

"Should Bianca get wooed by servants for 3 scenes?"

"Ask again later."

Eric

And he did.

Andy

And the 8 ball said yes.

Eric

And the play was 3 hours long.

Andy

Anyway, the point is...

Character actor Mike Nussbaum has an enormous horse penis.

#2. Why does one person in the cast have a South African accent?

#3. Can't you make a Tuesday thru Thursday version that is shorter?

Because once you are on the Pier, it's fucking impossible to get home.

and #4

go ahead Eric.

Eric

Why is the men's bathroom so small? It was like we were at a Minor League game.

Andy

There were some good looking dudes in the audience though.

Eric

Amen to that. Very manly.

Andy

Anyway, the actors are all good, I guess.

The standouts were the Chicago storefront guys.

AS USUAL.

Why does Shakes have to get all these douches from New York?

We aren't good enough?

Eric

No, Andy, we aren't.

Andy

That one guy went to Yale, and all I got from him was that they spit a lot.

At Yale.

Eric

And the Katerina went to the trembling lip school of acting, which is right down the road from the George Clooney Acting with a Smirk college.

Andy

Which is right down the road from Devry.

Eric

Which is where I'm going this summer, did I tell you?

Andy

NO!

That's great Eric!

Eric

I know!

I'll finally make a career!

Andy

Thanks America for your time!

Be sure to go to Bubba Gump Shrimp Factory!!

Eric

No regrets!

Taming of the Shrew
C+
Bubba Gump Shrimp House
A+

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach
-Eric Roach, Anderson Lawfer