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Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Guerilla Girls Annual Girlcott List, or, Please Get Back In The Kitchen

What does she wish that banana was? (Answer: A clementine.)

Holy shit.  Did I really have to see this today?  Did I really have to start the day with news of ANOTHER theatre collective acting terrible to the community at large because their sandy vaginas were irritated?

Well, I did.  I woke up this morning after some crazy ass dream about being in the bush in Vietnam, but Vietnam looked like Oklahoma and I was wearing chaps.  Not assless chaps, jerks, because chaps are ALWAYS ASSLESS.  Took my morning milk bath and hopped on the tubes and what did I spy in my little in box but a message from my cohort Andy linking me right...fucking...HERE:


Yep.  A full list of theatres around America that have dared to do plays by men and only men.  Including 16 Chicago theatres.  The Guerilla Girls are asking people to GIRLCOTT (real cute) these theatres and not buy tickets because women didn't write the plays.  Let me put this another way...you know how you aren't getting grants, and your show is getting awesome reviews but no one's showing up anyway, and you are scraping by attempting to make some kind of statement and do what you love to do strictly for the joy it brings you?  Well, if you are doing a play by a man, too bad and fuck the hell off.

OK, I am sure this is the point in this weblog that you think to yourself, "OH, ERIC HATES CHICKS."  No, man, I dig chicks and broads and dames and skirts and floozies.  Hell, there are even some plays written by twists that I dig.  I've directed plays by twirls and been directed by someone with a great set of gams.  However, these plays were selected by a group of men and women in our ensemble.  A mixed gender group that decided on the upcoming season of plays according to our own set of values.  And usually the last thing we asked about every script was, "So, this was written by a girl right?  Wow, that being the case, it's pretty good!"

How many feminists does it take to realize that Chicago Shakespeare Theatre does plays by William Shakespeare and he had a cock?  FUCK YOU, RAPIST!

That's a joke you can tell at your AA meeting!  So, when it comes down to the brass tacks the Guerilla Girls want you to not buy tickets to theatres who only do shows written by men.  And they seem to want theatres to choose shows written by women...EVEN IF THOSE SHOWS ARE BAD OR FALL OUTSIDE THE MISSION OF A PARTICULAR COMPANY.  I guess shows are more important when they are written by someone who has a natural intermission (a period).

I'm all for women playwrights.  I'm all for women directors.  I even like some female comedians (not a lot though...man, it's hard to be funny when you are offended by everything).  But, let's look at this from an equality position...we are all in the same boat.  Women, men, black, latino, asian...if you are a theatre practioner YOU AREN'T MAKING ANY MONEY.  The fact that there is a group of so-called artists out there who would take money out of your pocket because you dared to pick a season by your values instead of your vaginas...well, that fact makes me want to MANcott this bullshit toot fucking sweet.

And, oh, BTWLOL...ladies, a "gorilla mask" is when you shave a man's pubes when he sleeps and glue them all over his face before he wakes up.  Just a tip...sorry, a clit from your Unky Eric!

7 comments:

  1. Wow, the Chicago Shakespeare Theater made it onto the same list twice!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And has anyone told them that Chicago Shakespeare is run by a woman?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being a male playwright myself, I’ve made a huge sacrifice for female playwrights by not writing anything in the last five years or so. I was forgoing my livelihood to create an opportunity for their sake. I was trying to create a vacuum.

    Sadly, Tracy Letts filled the vacuum with AUGUST and DONUTS . To add insult to injury, he wrote a play about DONUTS! And if there is one way to get a guy to produce a show written by another guy, put DONUTS in the title. However, we may all take comfort in the fact that he has a girl’s name, and that is a step in the right direction!

    I am sure they have their own reasons why they are an "anonymous theatre collective" where "each member performs under the name of a dead woman artist, and wears a gorilla mask to conceal her true identity". (God knows there are times I wished I had.)

    I am sure that every estate of each ‘dead woman artist’ has signed off on having their matron’s name co-opted into the collective so that living artists don’t have use their real names while they perform in Gorilla Masks. (Guerilla Girls, could you forward the transcripts of the negotiation with the estate of Ayn Rand, this is so up her alley.)

    Guerilla Girls, I don’t know if you’ve chosen the most 'transparent' or legitimate way to get a political statement across about something that is a real and critical issue in American and Global Theatre. But you’ve gotten our attention, whoever you are.

    I’d suggest that instead of writing lists, that this "anonymous theatre collective" write some kick-ass plays. Then submit them to the theatres on the list. Flood the market with works so good that they just have to be produced. It’s hard work, but you to have a collective, so you can split up the writing among all of you.

    Of course, being an ‘anonymous theatre collective’, you can’t take individual credit for the plays. Tricky. Because of that, no one would know that the plays were written by women.

    Because they are anonymous submissions, that means that the plays would be chosen by their artistic merit; or how they fit into the values and missions of each theatre; or if have the right casting for each company.

    So really, your kick-ass play… that just has to be produced… that I’m dying to read…I don’t care who wrote it, or what gender the playwright is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Being a male playwright myself, I’ve made a huge sacrifice for female playwrights by not writing anything in the last five years or so. I was forgoing my livelihood to create an opportunity for their sake. I was trying to create a vacuum.

    Sadly, Tracy Letts filled the vacuum with AUGUST and DONUTS . To add insult to injury, he wrote a play about DONUTS! And if there is one way to get a guy to produce a show written by another guy, put DONUTS in the title. However, we may all take comfort in the fact that he has a girl’s name, and that is a step in the right direction!

    I am sure they have their own reasons why they are an "anonymous theatre collective" where "each member performs under the name of a dead woman artist, and wears a gorilla mask to conceal her true identity". (God knows there are times I wished I had.)

    I am sure that every estate of each ‘dead woman artist’ has signed off on having their matron’s name co-opted into the collective so that living artists don’t have use their real names while they perform in Gorilla Masks. (Guerilla Girls, could you forward the transcripts of the negotiation with the estate of Ayn Rand, this is so up her alley.)

    Guerilla Girls, I don’t know if you’ve chosen the most 'transparent' or legitimate way to get a political statement across about something that is a real and critical issue in American and Global Theatre. But you’ve gotten our attention, whoever you are.

    I’d suggest that instead of writing lists, that this "anonymous theatre collective" write some kick-ass plays. Then submit them to the theatres on the list. Flood the market with works so good that they just have to be produced. It’s hard work, but you to have a collective, so you can split up the writing among all of you.

    Of course, being an ‘anonymous theatre collective’, you can’t take individual credit for the plays. Tricky. Because of that, no one would know that the plays were written by women.

    Because they are anonymous submissions, that means that the plays would be chosen by their artistic merit; or how they fit into the values and missions of each theatre; or if have the right casting for each company.

    So really, your kick-ass play… that just has to be produced… that I’m dying to read…I don’t care who wrote it, or what gender the playwright is.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hank Boland Says:

    Being a male playwright myself, I’ve made a huge sacrifice for female playwrights by not writing anything in the last five years or so. I was forgoing my livelihood to create an opportunity for their sake. I was trying to create a vacuum.

    Sadly, Tracy Letts filled the vacuum with AUGUST and DONUTS . To add insult to injury, he wrote a play about DONUTS! And if there is one way to get a guy to produce a show written by another guy, put DONUTS in the title. However, we may all take comfort in the fact
    that he has a girl’s name, and that is a step in the right direction!

    I am sure they have their own reasons why they are an "anonymous theatre collective" where "each member performs under the name of a dead woman artist, and wears a gorilla mask to conceal her true identity". (God knows there are times I wished I had.)

    I am sure that every estate of each ‘dead woman artist’ has signed off on having their matron’s name co-opted into the collective so that living artists don’t have use their real names while they perform in Gorilla Masks. (Guerilla Girls, could you forward the transcripts of the negotiation with the estate of Ayn Rand, this is so up her alley.)

    Guerilla Girls, I don’t know if you’ve chosen the most 'transparent' or legitimate way to get a political statement across about something that is a real and critical issue in American and Global Theatre. But you’ve gotten our attention, whoever you are.

    I’d suggest that instead of writing lists, that this "anonymous theatre collective" write some kick-ass plays. Then submit them to the theatres on the list. Flood the market with works so good that they just have to be produced. It’s hard work, but you to have a collective, so you can split up the writing among all of you.

    Of course, being an ‘anonymous theatre collective’, you can’t take individual credit for the plays. Tricky. Because of that, no one would know that the plays were written by women.

    Because they are anonymous submissions, that means that the plays would be chosen by their artistic merit; or how they fit into the values and missions of each theatre; or if have the right casting for each company.

    So really, your kick-ass play… that just has to be produced… that I’m dying to read…I don’t care who wrote it, or what gender the playwright is.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, this is not cool. Here's the comment I posted on their blog:

    As a female director and theatre artist I've got to defend a few of these Chicago theatre companies that I've worked with. I've personally worked with Oracle Theatre Company and Strawdog Theatre Company and found them to be incredibly supportive of empowering female artists at every position in a performance and production team.

    Oracle Theatre produced a show I created and directed 3 years ago, Show Game Live: from the Milky Way!, that was my original concept, my baby. I workshopped a partially improvised script with a group of actors and I directed. The cast was half female, the assistant director and costume designer were female. Currently, Oracle is in talks with my sketch group, SizeEight.net to be the Oracle "house team" for a regular late night spot. We are a sketch group of 3 women who write, direct, produce and perform all our own work.

    As you mentioned in another comment, nearly all of Oracle's scripts are by "(dead)" authors - if the writers of the scripts they are producing are dead, why does it matter what sex they are? It's not like a woman is being denied a script writing job. Polling the sex of dead members of the creative team seems a silly way to measure gender equality of live, employed artists in a particular season. Especially when there are so many live female artists actively involved in the very productions you are advocating a boycott of.

    I applaud your focus on pushing for gender equality in theatre - I agree that we aren't there yet - but I think you are picking the wrong point of measurement. A script author, especially dead ones, should not be the be all, end all measurement of a company's commitment to equality and should certainly not be the basis for something as extreme as a call to boycott.

    Thank you for starting this conversation and for your consideration of reevaluating your point of measurement.

    Katie Hawkey Swindler
    Director, Size Eight Sketch Comedy

    ReplyDelete
  7. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (no matter why you broke up) you got to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Text Your Ex Back?

    ReplyDelete