House On The Rock, Wisconsin (Guest Reviewer ADA GREY)

Once a last summer ago I went to House on the Rock in Wisconsin. You should go there because it is very weird and you might laugh your heads off. Or scare your heads off. It was the weirdest house in the whole entire worlds. Worlds with an s because there are planets, and some things live on there like aliens. It was weirder than aliens--it was sooo weird.

There was this thing that was called (well, I am going to add one line) The Scary Mikado. Scary is the part I put in. The Mikado was this Chinese man who was playing the drums, and all these people were playing the horns. Not real people--wood or plastic robots. And the man who was playing the drums kept looking seriouser and pointing his eyebrows. You put in a coin, and then they will do music, and then they will move. I hated the Mikado because of its scary music. And it reminded me of someone dying. It was so stupid; I hated the man with the mustache. I HATED IT SO MUCH. (All in capitals, please.) I hated it more than a giant whale eating me.

Speaking of whales, there was a giant whale that was bigger than real size. And it was wrestling with a Squid! The squid was in the water, and it was wrapping around the whale, and the whale was screaming in terror! (I am laughing at my own review. It is so hilarious.) There was a boat in the whale’s mouth, and it was sticking on his tongue. And it was so scary!

There was a doll carousel with lots of dolls riding on ponies! And standing all around the carousel! And it went to the ceiling! And there was one beautiful bride doll at the top riding on a rainbow pony, and it had beautiful diamonds on it. It was less weird than the other carousel. That had animals on it that were weird. There was a bulldog. The bulldog had a little thing on the back you could ride in and his face was frowning. There was a mermaid and a camel that had seats too. You can’t on ride on them, so don’t disappoint kids. I am not going to talk about everything because there is so many stuff it might take two weeks to finish my review and I want to have some surprises for people that go.

The thing I am going to talk about is like a tunnel that looked like it was going to go on forever and ever and ever. It wasn’t through something, but you could see out, but you were so high that it was scary to look out. There was this big window on the floor, and you couldn’t get past it because there was this rope around it and you couldn’t get past the rope. If you kept walking past the rope then the walls would be too squished together, and then you would try to get through, and then you would be stuck and try to call the police. But you couldn’t reach your cell phone because your hands would be too squished.

There was the room that looked like the city. There was a beer bar (not a sushi bar). They made it to look like the city, and there were carriages and there were like fake people. I pretended that one of the fake people was my boyfriend. I said, “do you want to go somewhere tonight.” And that is all I remember.

It felt like two days but it was only one day. We went both times in one day: in the day and the afternoon. I recommend people see it in one day because then they won’t have to go back if they are leaving the next day to finish it. The man that built the house was crazy. He wanted to be like Frank Lloyd Wright, but he couldn’t. I had more fun at House on the Rock than at the tour of the Frank Lloyd Wright school because House on the Rock was weirder, and i love being weird. I like both architects; Frank Lloyd Wright is fun but not like hilarious. So Frank Lloyd Wright is like “Wow! I like this. It is an awesome tour.” But House on the Rock was like, “Wow! This is hilarious, and it is weird too. I love it.”

A+