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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Blood, Steel, Rock and Sugar!!!! (MUSIC REVIEW BY SCOTT OKEN)

Goddamn, I love Hard Rock…I love to flip tables. As y’all(No, I’m not from Texas…) might have realized, I mostly listen to the older stuff, but in the interest in keeping semi-up with the semi-times…(Christ, was that a sentence?!?!??), I have 4 jammin’ LPs from the last few years for you to go and check out…all guitars… all rock…don’t hurt yourselves, for I did!!!

Blood Ceremony –S/T (2008)-No Wiki entry, but check out their MySpace page. Check out under “influences”, the first two names are Black Sabbath and Jethro Tull. Upon 2 songs into this lp, that will become quite clear. When you press play, you will hear Black Sabbath riffs…an insane chick singing…and flute. Brilliant. These guys rock so hard I need to take medication to calm down. Your ears will need a Blood Ceremony to stop the BLEEDING!!!!! Every cut…every cut on the album is a complete jam. The 2 minute 1+note keyboard intro into “Master of Confusion" will usher you in properly. “I’m Coming With You” is an instant metal classic!!! What album called Blood Ceremony would be complete without a song titled “Into the Coven”, and yes, it’s a jam. This is what my friend Beav calls a 100%er. Every cut is a classic!!!! OUR :10/10

The Devil’s Blood-The Time of No Time Evermore (2009)-Nothing really on these guys except that they are Dutch, and formed in 2006. This lp is pretty straightforward Old-School Metal. Take some Iron Maiden, Scorpions, Black Sabbath, some somewhat refined, Euro-sounding vocals, and you have The Devils’ Blood. There are some excellent tracks here, including the lead cut into the second cut “The Time of No Time” and “Evermore”. One of my favourites (yes, I spell the British way..what of it?!?!?) is “Feeding the Fire with Tears and Blood”. This song is reminiscent of something of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath…and it jams you to the point of extinction. This is a good “getting ready to go out” album. You put it on after your shower, while you are getting dressed and it comforts you. OUR :10/10

Steel Panther
-Feel the Steel (2009)- Basically these guys are a parody band built from some not so successful Hair Metal bands back in the day…but Goddamn are they rockin’ hilarious! You CANNOT play these guys at the office while fixing that Excel spreadsheet. These guys are NSFW (Not Suitable For Work…see..I’m from the future!) Probably the most hilarious lyrics ever. There is nothing Dylanesque going on here. Virtually every song makes mention or is about shooting one’s load…if you know what I mean….cum…spooge. The lead cut “Death to all but Metal” starts with the lyrics “Fuck the GooGoo dolls…they can suck my balls” So you know what you are in for. Oh, and wait until the politically incorrect “Asian Hooker” hits your ears. Here’s the thing…they rock! The songs are classic 80s jams, but with tongue firmly in cheek….or mouth. Other classics include the ballad “Community Property” (A MUST LISTEN) and “Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin’. Please go find this now. OUR :15/10

Rock Sugar-Reimaginator (2010)-Brand spankin’ new. These guys are real, I guess, but what they play is not conventional songs. They essentially play live mash-ups of Metal songs, mixed with pop tunes. Here is one of their videos that gives a brief captioned intro to their act. They take “Enter Sandman” and mash it with “Don’t Stop Believin’”. This is kinda cool for a few songs, but it does get old quickly. The best ones on this lp are “We Will Kickstart Your Rhapsody” “Crazy Girl” and “Voices in the Jungle”. Like I said, pretty fun and interesting for a few songs at a time, but I cannot see one listening to the whole lp at once. OUR: 6.5/10

Well then…now that I have made your lives easier to rock…I suggest you do so!!!!!!!

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