Thursday, February 4, 2010

The differences and similarities between Shia LeBeouf and Ground Beef (Celebrity/Meat comparison series)

Now before we get started, I know what you are thinking.
"There are hardly any similarities between celebrities and meat, but with our new Celebrity/Meat Comparison Series, you will see that isn't exactly true!
Meat and Celebrities have long had a love/hate relationship and it's time to expose the truth to the masses of dozens of readers.
Let's get started with our inaugural subjects to get a magnifying glass held up to them, Shia LeBeouf and Ground Beef.

Shia Saide LaBeouf- (pronounced /ˈʃaɪə ləˈbʌf/ SHY-ə lə-BUFF; born June 11, 1986) is an American actor, voice actor, and comedian.
LeBeouf began his career as a young actor on the Disney network, playing a 10 year old dreamboat on Even Stephens, a show about 2 young men named Stephen who are exactly even at everything. The show was an instant hit/failure. He then joined the cast of Suddenly Susan and the children's book come to life, Holes, another near success for the Disney Company.
In 2007, he grew to enormous popularity, starring in Disturbia, a film about the suburbs and someone has hurt their leg and has binoculars and isn't a remake, and the hugely popular Transformers, a movie about trucks that talk and turn into walking trucks (see: not as fast as trucks on wheels). After that, there has been no limit to Shia's success. From Indiana Jones and the Skull Crystal Box to the upcoming Wall Street 2: Money for Sale, he is a rising star for our daughters.

Beef mince, ground beef or hamburger meat (in North America), or mince(d) meat (in the rest of the English speaking world)- is a ground meat product, made of beef finely chopped by a meat grinder. It is used in many recipes including Hamburgers and Cottage Pie. Beef began it's career as a food item in the ancient times in the intestinal network where it received much success as an energy supplement for long hunts and all night sex festivals. It's first starring role as "Ground" beef came in the early medieval Russian times as the lead in Steak Tartar, a fine dish mixing herbs and beef together for a great onplate duo!
In the late 19Th century, Dr. James Henry Salisbury came up with chopped beef patties to cure Civil War soldiers suffering from "camp diarrhea." The patties were made of meat from disease-free/diseased animal muscle fibers with no fat, cartilage or connective tissues, seasoned with diarrhea, and broiled. Dr. Salisbury advocated eating beef three times a day for a healthy Constitution, and that's how the Constitution was written. The term "Salisbury steak" dates back in print to 1897.
Salisbury Steaks, the forefathers of Hamburgers, gave beef a household name and Beef has become one of the biggest stars of today!


Lebeouf attended predominantly Hispanic and African American schools in Los Angeles, being supplemented by tutors.
Ground Beef didn't have any education either.


LeBeouf is slated to host the popular Saturday Night Live in 2010 for his second time.
Ground Beef, while never a host, has been used by everyone from John Belushi to Billy Crystal to Jim Belushi.


Ground Beef has been called "the tool for Poor Nations to exist in the 1st world" by Winston Churchill.
LeBeouf has never won an award.


LaBeouf is a corruption of "le bœuf", the French term for "the ox" or "the beef"

Beef is a corruption of "balloon", a Scandinavian term for "the ox" or "the beef".

In the end, there are very obvious differences, but sometimes, like all things in life, it's better to focus on what we have in common and enjoy the ride.

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

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