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Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Horrible, Horrible Squid Invasion (Humboldt Squid)

Guys?

GUYS?

Take a fucking look at this demon:


This is the Humboldt Squid, and just like Humboldt Park...it must be destroyed.

I'm certain you've heard that this monster has infiltrated our west coast over the last 7 years.  But maybe you didn't realize that these things are worse than anything in your nightmares.

They eat everything.  EVERYTHING.  They are not afraid to eat salmon, krill, trout, swordfish, anything.  There is one reported case of them ganging up and eating a human being, but of course the media won't tell you about that.

That's why you need to listen to me.  These Lovecraftian eldritch gods are not a joke.  I'm seriously scared to death.  I've taken to eating calimari at every meal, because I want to be able to say that I helped squash the squid invasion.

What can you do?  Please comment with ideas on Andy's review.  But not here.  I won't read them, because I'm in my squid-proof bunker awaiting the squidpocalypse.

THE UNIVERSE IS TRYING TO KILL US!  WHAT WILL YOU DO TO COMBAT THE SQUID MENACE???

3 comments:

  1. the humbolt squid is the 4th most dangerous ocean predator to humans. Right behind the great white shark, the saltwater crocodile, and the box jellyfish. :)
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  2. Humboldt Squid are AMAZING creatures - you're obviously one of many humans who have NO respect for ALL of God's creations. They are BEAUTIFUL animals!!!

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