Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Do you remember the band Cheap Trick?
Guitarist Rick Nielsen wrote a song called "The Dream Police" about people in his dreams searching for his secrets. In this song, he plays 3 guitars at the same time. He plays a guitar solo within a guitar solo within a guitar solo.
That song has inspired a major motion picture.
'Cause they're waiting for me.
They're looking for me.
Ev'ry single night they're driving me insane.
Those men inside my brain.
The dream police, they live inside of my head. (Live inside of my head.)
The dream police, they come to me in my bed. (Come to me in my bed.)
The dream police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no.
Well, I can't tell lies, 'cause they're listening to me.
And when I fall asleep, bet they're spying on me tonight, tonight.
I never saw Inception in the theater despite everyone telling me to. I can't do everything everybody wants me to do all the time, so get off my back.
Anyway, I rented it last night with my wife.
We also rented some Chinese food from Nan's Chinese and Sushi restaurant on Lincoln Avenue...OR WAS IT A DREAM!!?
I'm pretty sure it was real.
We had the Lemon Chicken, the Broccoli Something, and the Sweet and Sour Meat.
The movie began with Leonardo DeCaprio in China doing this sort of spy thing with all these Asian dudes, so I'm glad we chose Chinese Food.
Leo washes up on a beach in this prison jumpsuit and these cuts on his beautiful face and is taken in to see this old Chinese guy. He looks like the kind of guy you would get a little statue of if you bought a Bonzai tree. He asks Leo why he is looking for his safe. Leo tells him that this is a dream and in the safe there are his secrets and that he needs to get his secrets.
I know what you are thinking. You think this sounds super gay, because why is some handsome guy looking through your dreams to find your secrets unless your secret is you want to touch the handsome guy. I didn't even know that there were gay Chinese people because I thought you could be killed for being gay in China. Turns out there are though. There are 9 of them and they live in Ohio.
Anyway, turns out that Leo is a dream thief. He breaks into your brain while you are sleeping and steals your secrets so he can use it against you for corporate sabotage or some shit. Maybe they do it to solve murders or instead of a lie detector.
He has some partners. One partner is Joseph Gordon Levitt who was in 3rd Rock From the Sun. He does something, but I'm not sure what, except he fixes all the problems that Leo causes.
Then there's this guy, Lucas Haas that no one has seen his he was a teenager, but he gets killed in the first scene.
Lucas Haas was sort of like the Lemon Chicken because I hadn't had him since I was 15 and didn't like him that much in the first place.
After he dies, Leo needs to get some new partners for the job of a lifetime!
In this job, he has to give someone a new idea instead of stealing old ones. For this job he will need the best team of dream police ever.
There's only one person that can build the worlds the way he wants them to, and that person is an 18 year old college girl named...I forgot her name, but she plays Juno. The slutty teenager with nice parents.
So now Juno, Leo and JGL are in Africa looking for another guy who does impressions. They are looking for Rich Little. Except this Rich Little can disguise himself in other people's heads to convince them to give up info. They also get this guy who makes drugs to sedate people so they will dream deeper and longer. He is Arabic and seems pretty nice.
Their mark is a young guy who's father owns a bunch of power companies and they are trying to plant the idea in his head that he should split them up when his dad dies. Seems simple enough to me.
So they get on this airplane and slip this dude a roofie and hook him up to the old dream box, then they all hook up. Now, they never show how this dreambox connects to you, but I think it's through your arm, in your bloodstream. That means when you cut yourself, you are losing dreams.
I think that is what crazy tribal people think also, so maybe they are right after all. Imagine how many dreams Jesus lost when he was on that cross. Probably at least 2 pints of dreams.
So now they go into the dream in this city that Juno made in her mind. It's pretty regular looking and reminded me of the Sweet and Sour Chicken we were eating. A nice texture, vibrant colors and a clean finish.
They are being chased by these other sub-conscious bad guys who want to get rid of them. So they decide to get in this van and go into another dream inside the dream. So they all fall asleep in the van while the Arab is driving it around.
In the next dream, they are in a fancy hotel and Rich Little looks like a beautiful lady. They go up to this guy's room and Tom Berenger is there and is looking for a combination to his secret safe.
This reminded me of the Beef and Broccoli we ordered because it was rich bodied and the flavor was deeper and I added some soy sauce, so it was like a sauce within a sauce.
Then they decide to go one more dream deeper into an ice world which reminded me to have some ice water. This part was like Die Hard 2 because there was snow everywhere but no one seemed very cold.
Anyway,blah blah blah the guy gets to the safe and puts in the right numbers and then they all wake up, OR DO THEY!!?
This movie is pretty good, man.
I was nervous and excited and confused. I recommend having Chinese food with this movie because there are Chinese guys in it.
The acting is pretty good, I guess. Everyone just kind of says their lines and makes mad faces a lot.
Leonardo DeCaprio is really good looking, so if that's what you are after, run to the RedBox and bring home Inception today!!
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach