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Thursday, July 1, 2010

F. O. Mahoney’s (bar review by guest blogger Josh Vaughn)



HAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWKKKKSSSS!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWKKKKSSSS!!!
Kane and I split a hooker!!…….wait….no we didn’t…..Sorry, dudes, haven’t slept alot lately….too much goin on! Hawks win, Blues Fest, street festival season….it’s ridiculous.

But I’m back (and cuz we’re slow at work), with a new review. This time, I went to F. O. Mahoney’s on Waveland and Broadway.

Dude, finally some place that’s finally got its shit together. It’s got everythin I hope for in a place to hang. Chicks, atmosphere, and the price is right. It’s this English/Irish pub, so its all dark wood and Eurpoean stuff on the walls. But they got awesome HD TVs showing all the games. Dartboards in the back and that computerized juke box where you can download stuff.

I went there with Travis, and he brought Tessa and Trista with him. I was like, fuck yeah, Bro-ny Danza, and he’s all, yeah Bro-bama! Cuz I’m the prez, bruh! These chicks, we know them from our last bags tournament (TEAM LACROSSE HOUSE RUUULES!!) and they’re both decent, and I’m all like, shoooots!?!

SHOTSSHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS! EVERYBOOOODDDAAAY!?!

Right?

So Trista starts talking (bad idea) about, the world, and stuff, oil spill this, Iraq that, and I’m all like, what about the CUUUBS!?! After all those trades?! Travis is all, duuude. But the server came just in time, before I lost my awesome. Decent dude, he was busy. We were out on the patio and it was full. I mean, you gotta respect a guy who’s working hard. I was a barback, dude………..I know.

So we got their special, $11 Lite pitchers, which, I guess, they have every day!?! Fuckin’ A dude! We ordered some wings, too, just to maintain the awesome, and they were good. They had BBQ and hot, and they were cheap, too. Their menu is pretty good. They got pizzas, a lot of apps, $5 burgers on Tuesdays, and all you you can eat fish and chips on Fridays. I was like, is this what Dad meant when he said, you’ll know when you’re in love, it’ll just happen? It was like Bro-meo and Juliet.

AND THEY GOT HOT BARTENDERS!!! Abby, behind the bar, DAAAAMMM!! Gave Tessa a run for her money, but hey, you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

So we’re all chillin, laughin, and before I now it, we’re bombed. And Trista gets all, I don’t feel good, take me home, where’s Trevor, or whatever, and Tessa’s all, let’s grab a cab, I’m all like, we’ll take you, and she’s all, you’re drunk. And Travis goes FUCK YOU!!!

So they run off. AFTER I paid the bill…..whatever. So we go to Wrigleyville and get into a fight.

So, grades. F. O.’s gets a big ol’ A, man. My kind of place to chill. The Hawks, A+++ Obviously.  The Cubs, D. And those chicks, F-

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