So, I saw Inception the other day which was totally awesome and bendy and blowing and stuff, and it totally reminded me of how awesome this show I saw at The Viaduct Theatre was. It’s called the (a)Symmetry Cycle. I guess the “a” in parentheticals means, like, that you can put an “a” on it if you want. Or not! It’s a group (or “cycle”) of three shows all about science and people having sex with science.
I saw the third show, but I had science sex with a guy in it, so I’d rather not talk about it. I’d like to focus on the second piece. How about you, Michael?
I saw the first show, but I got blown and didn’t really get it, so I’d like to focus on the second piece as well.
Great. So we’re on the same page. Wait...did you see the second piece?
No, I was hoping you did...?
I assumed you did. Because you like theatre so much. Weren’t you in History Boys?
That was only three and a half hours, I think the total length of all of them is, like, fifteen hours or something. It’s the Nicholas Nickleby of Chicago Theatre.
Wait, I have to go water some girl’s plants. I’ll be back in a couple hours.
So, while Jessie is using a scientifically sexual euphemism to get out of this conversation, I’ll try to describe how totally blown I was by the first piece.
Before I go, can I just point out how cool it is using Google documents at the same time? I get to watch as Michael types. It’s like watching the end of Doogie Howser. And I am not disappointed.
Neither am I! I feel like the future. Speaking of the future, the (a)Symbian Cycle is this really cool show with a really awesome set that I saw the first piece of called “Numbfeel.” There’s this guy who shows up at this girl’s house and her lesbian couple friends are there and they talk about science and sex and the girl whose house it is comes home finally and the guy’s like “Hey, can you get me a job?” and she’s like “No, I hate you remember?” because they totally have a history. And then she’s like “You can totally stay here, though.” This relates a lot to me personally because I need a job sometimes and I crash on my ex’s couch for a few months and her boyfriend’s always trying to confront me and I’m like “Whatever.” The boyfriend also has this really funny brother, who played around with a guitar but never actually played it. Which is funny because it’s a metaphor for irony!
So the play goes on and they talk about science and sex more (which totally made me get intellectually and sexually aroused) and it turns out the girl was really married to the guy and the guy left his wife but he was married to the girl before so they’re not really married! Science! I won’t spoil what happens, but I need to remind you that there were cute lesbians in it. Too bad it’s over now. Which would lead us to the one neither of us have seen called “Dumbspeak.” So let’s skip that one for now. Jessie?
So I saw “Blindsight”, the third piece. Guess what? More lesbian fun. I mean, I’m not a lesbian yet, but these actors were so good, I wanted to experiment with them. Scientifically. So its a couple years or month or days after that first play, and everyone is all pissed with this guy Isaac because he loves em and leaves em and likes libraries.
Oh yeah! That was the guy’s name, I couldn’t remember. Remember the guy from earlier, guys? That was his name. Do go on.
And his new wife shows up and she is a maid of some kind I assume because she keeps offering to “clean people’s auras”. And I’m pretty sure that’s a euphemism for watering their plants. But she never did any cleaning, so I can’t be positive about that. And guess what else? That guitar you were so worried about? It gets played. It gets played for real. And they sing. All of a sudden it was Weird Science the musical and I was into it. Anyway, by the end, everyone learns about forgiveness and life and atoms and what not. John Wilson directed this play, but that’s no big surprise. I dare you to find a piece of theatre in Chicago that he is not somehow a part of.
I thought I saw him credited as “Young Performer Occupier” for Billy Elliot.
Oh, Eric and Andy wanted us to put in a fart joke somewhere. Should we do that now?
I got so excited about biology that I farted. But that’s not a joke.
Also, I think we should take some time to guess about that second piece.
An EDUCATED guess, because it’s science!
I like to pretend there was a scene like this in it:
Mitch: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight: You've seen him too?
Mitch: Who is he?
Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.
Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?
Mitch: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.
Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.
Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?
But that’s from the acclaimed Val Kilmer film “Real Genius”, and I’m pretty sure Chelsea Marcantel, who wrote all three plays, isn’t going to steal directly from that movie, mostly because she wasn’t even born when it came out.
A brilliant guess, Jessie. But I don’t need to copy and paste from IMDB’s quotes page to come up with what I think it was.
That was cold. Why are you trying to hurt me in front of these five readers?
“Dumbspeak” is probably like “The Piano” or something, only they couldn’t afford Harvey Keitel’s wang. Or, maybe it’s about a kid who’s totally good at using 1980’s computer techonology and he hacks into the NORAD computer system with a phone-hook modem and an Apple II and almost causes nuclear war with the Soviets and learns what relationships are all about. That would make it like another totally awesome 1980’s movie I saw starring Adrian Broderick.
Or it might be about adults in various states of human relationship who dissect their interpersonal dynamic using intimate knowledge of chemistry...
Oooo, oooo...all about chemistry. Remember that song? That was one of my favorites on the Muzak at Sportmart when I worked there.
We should wrap this up or we’ll have to hear all about Michael’s backroom escapades at Sportmart again. And he’ll end up crying again.
I give the play an “A.” Because it was good and its also over now. So why not look back on it fondly.
Yeah, my sporting goods escapades would take longer to explain than the whole (a)Symbolic Cycle! I also give this an “A” because I love science and sex and, just like a one night stand, it’s over now even though you want so much for it to become something real because it felt so right.
(a)Symmetry Cycle at The Viaduct Theatre
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