Monday, July 26, 2010

The Long Room (bar review by guest reviewer Josh Vaughn)

Holla, Bros!! Josh Vaughn, comin’ atcha with another review.

So I lost my phone the other night, and bro, now I know what it's like to be disabled. You know, those people with canes, or in comas and stuff? Not having a phone is like losing a leg, or your hearing, or something. I had no way to FB, or text, for like, a day until they sent me a replacement. It should be, you go to the store, get a phone, right off the wall. Like a gun store.

I blame all this partly on the great time I had at my new place, the Long Room. That, and the cabbie that didn’t return my phone.

The Long Room is not my usual style, ( I mean, they don’t have any TV’s in there. How am I supposed to watch ESPN’s Top Ten? I could if I had my PHONE!! ) it is still pretty cool. It’s at Irving Park and Ashland. My buddy Trent was having birthday drinks with his lady Terra, so I’m like, represent! I was flying solo on a Tuesday night, so whatevs. (But not for long, Josh Vaughn is a hot commodity. Learned that from Morgan Stanley.)

So I roll in, and the first thing I notice, is that it’s some hipster hangout. Dudes with glasses and moustaches, chicks with tats and summer dresses, and like dumb jazz playing. I was like, Trent, bro, Houndstooth can’t be that busy? But I got some good news when I looked around. There are some hot chicks hangin' out.

I mean, they were all, Pitchfork this, politics that, which, bro, buzzkill, but hey? I ain’t gotta listen, just look. And the place has got A LOT of beer. Never seen a place that has a beer menu with all this info in it. Somethin like 15 beers on tap, a lot of weird stuff in the bottle, but the best part was they had $1 PBR’s that night!! NOW I get Trent’s thinking. Up Top, Bro! So I got to the bar, and Terra’s hanging out with some of her cute friends. I’m all playing it cool, and bro, they acted like they didn’t care, but they know they want to see how long they can last at the Vaughn-a-thon. Staying power, bruh.

The layout is cool. It’s called the Long Room, cuz its like football field in there, without the dudes with muscles. But its like this dark, chill lounge that you see in the movies, and stuff. They got wrap around booths, and this private room, with one of those photo booths for those dumb chicks like my one friend Debbi, who gets wasted and takes photos of herself flashing the goods. And a great patio in the back. I caught up with Trent out there, and the crew was heavy reppin’ that night. We had some beers, some laughs. Pretty cool crowd. Everybody chillin, after work, or softball.

The staff was good too. For a big bar, which runs the length of the room, those guys were working hard, and were real cool. Customer service is important, bruh. I ordered drinks for friends, cuz bro, I do well, and the price was right. $6 for Jack rocks? Hell yeah! And I guess on Thursday and Friday they got $4 select drafts, which if you’re into IPA, that’s the way to go, too. So Trent and I did some shots, Terra talks me up to her friends, we’re having a blast. But then, the ex walks in. Timing, bro.

She’s friends with Terra, so I’m all, allright. But the she gets all, with Terra’s friends, “I’m Josh’s ex, you wanna know some stuff about him?” And she goes off about, break-up this, I-called-the-cops that, so I’m like, I'm out.

So I’m drunk, lose my phone, and end up at Uptown Lounge, drinking bombs with the bartender…I’m not made of stone, ya’ll.

So, Long Room, cool place to chill, good selection, price…wait, hold up, getting a text….the ex…..seriously?!!….right, well…..ugh.

Long Room, B+

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