Friday, August 14, 2009

Aboriginal Religion (God Week)

This is what these nutsos think:

Well, let's be fair and start at the beginning.
Aboriginal people don't believe in things they can't see. Clearly. I mean, they must not believe in love or togetherness, because there are so few of them. They don't make "love" or "fucking".
But, and get this, they believe in nature and the things around them.

"Aboriginal deities have many roles and no single description or term can describe all of these. Based on their primary role, they fall into three main categories, and any one deity may belong to one, two, or all three of these categories:"

To save time, I will tell you what these are in a single description.

Ancestoral beings:

These are ghosts of your Grandpas and Grandmas, and will help guide your journey to the real parts of Australia.

Wet Beings:

Since they are close to the water and whatever and really like to drink stuff, these are those beings inside of food and rivers that make water and stuff wet.

Totemic Beings:
These are beings that make poles and tater totems. They are like tater tots, but have faces of Gods and other religious symbols inside of them.
They are still good with ketchup, but do not make them wet or a God of wetness will come and eat all your tater totems.

Anyway, these people are ridiculous. Get a job, and some pants, weirdos.

-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

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