Thursday, August 20, 2009

Brett Favre (Biography)

(pronounced /ˈfɑrv/) (born October 10, 1969, in Gulfport, Mississippi) is an American football quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings. He was the starting quarterback for the Green Bay Packers between 1992 and 2007 and the New York Jets in 2008.
After first being traded from the Atlanta Falcons to the Green Bay Packers after only one season as a backup quarterback, Favre quickly became a hero in professional football. His popularity grew in Green Bay when the locals became confused by his complicated passing offense and was briefly considered a wizard. This, in time, grew to be his next battle to fight.
On trial for wizardry in 1996, Favre was quoted as saying in a courtroom, "I am not a wizard."
This satisfied the illiterate Wisconsin natives, and he was returned to his job as High Commander and Dragon Lizard Warrior of the Green Bay Packers.
Favre, over 17 years ran up enough numbers to be considered the most technically best and awesomest quarterback in the history of football.
In 2006, Favre's wife, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and Favre decided to retire to spend time with his family and also to begin a foundation for survivors of Hurricane Katrina.
After his wife got better, and the people in the south continued to stay alive, Favre, in a blind rage, tore apart his foundation, calling it "a place for blacks" and "my wife is a bitch".
Favre immediately returned to the NFL, this time going as far away from his beloved southland as possible, playing for the New York Jets.
"At least I know what these Jews want from me", Favre was quoted as saying at his signing ceremony.
Later that same year, Favre's wife apologized for having cancer and he returned home, mercifully forgiving her and giving her more money.
The television coverage of this was the biggest coverage of a professional sports player returning to his sport since Rube Waddel returned to the circus from the Chicago Cubs in 1906, largely thought of as the grandfather news story of modern sporting news.
Since his return and subsequent retirement, there have been 8 cable channels dedicated solely to Favre's returns and retirements. ESPN has begun entire programming blocks just to show Favre throwing footballs to high school children called "Favre for You."
This year, after deciding to stay retired, he returned home to his family, looked around and tried to run to a local hospital for "shoulder surgery", but this was not far enough away from his beloved Deanna.
After his "surgery" he immediately accepted a deal with the Minnesota Vikings. He has always worn number 4, as he puts it, "because that's how many times I like to hit my children" and "the number of books I've read".
Favre is now the High Commander and Dragon Lizard King of the Minnesota Vikings, signing a 2 year deal worth 12 million dollars for him, and 13 million dollars for his wife.
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach


  1. i heard everytime he goes to pick up lunch, favre "retires" and then when he comes back with the sandwiches, he comes "out of retirement". so, they don't let him pick up lunch anymore.

  2. I'll have "the retirement", please.
    With extra mayo.

  3. Favre is also a restaurateur. His Steak House is located in Green Bay just off of Lombardi Avenue and Holmgren Way. It's all gristle and mealy potatoes but, as can be expected, Pack fans don't care.

  4. love it except for the wife bits.