Why is it so hard for us? (Think Piece)

Man, life sure is hard for us. We have to go to offices, or work as artists, or take government money for not working in offices.
Look at those fucks in Africa. They get to run all day long, or do laundry, or wear baskets on their heads.
Fuck them. So uppity.

On my way to work this morning, I sat on a crowded bus that was behind a garbage truck. When I got off the bus, I was immediately greeted by a "Zales diamonds" sign, telling me to buy a woman a ring, or else she will leave me for someone with a big penis, or could possibly buy her a ring. Then, I got to work and was hungry. What should I do? There's a chinese place next door, and a five guys across the street, a subway and a mexican joint a half block down.
FUUUUUUCK!
Why can't this stuff be decided for me? I'm sick of choice!
In Africa, they don't have to worry about choosing things.
They tell them what they are going to get, or they just don't get anything. AND THAT'S FINE TOO!
Anything is better then this. Every week, there is Monday, and I hate Mondays.
For example, this week I had to wake up, go to lunch with my girlfriend (in a car), take a nap, and then go have a beer with a "client".
In Africa, you don't have to worry about clients, or naps, because you don't have anything to do besides not get AIDS.
Well, I have to not get AIDS, too, guys.
What's so fucking hard about that.

They get to just run all day and night, and then they come to America and win our marathons, and take our deals with shoe companies.
Well, I guess I gotta go back to reading political blogs and eating granola.

We'll see how Africa likes it when I move THERE.
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach