Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ethnic Types (People of Earth)

Now listen, America. I ain't a racist dude. I appreciate all races and creeds and tongues and colors of this beautiful state.
I also realize that everyone is the same and has the same problems in life. I'm not here to say otherwise.
I am here to help you out a little bit, filmmakers and college professors.
For example, yesterday I was watching a movie, a horror movie. The movie started in the darkness with a young couple in an expensive car, making out and driving to a motel after they had just been married. Now this all seems reasonable, right? It was, except that they were KOREAN. Or Japanese, or something Chinese. Now I know that Korean people or whatever they were get married (probably in some weirdo snake lover Godless way) and are allowed to stay in whatever motel they want, but don't you think, filmmaker, that you could've gotten more mileage out of them leaving a karate contest or something? I mean, if you are gonna cast Korean guys, USE IT.
If I see a spanish lady walking down the street, I don't immediately call immigration, because it isn't right to do that. BUT I COULD. This is my country, and I know that she is here illegally. So why isn't she nicer to me? Or when a black person comes to my house, I never offer them food, because I'm positive they just got done eating at a family reunion or something, I don't know, but at least they just had some chips on the bus ride over.
There is nothing racist about being right, college kids.
Have you ever shook hands with a polish man who wasn't covered in drywall dust? Nope.
Or a Jewish woman who wasn't worried about the temperature?
Here is another example:
I was out drinking at a bar, after a long day of being rich and watching baseball, when I stumbled into a bar.
Who should be at the end of the bar besides an honest to God Native American.
Well, we sat and talked about his tribe or whatever it was, and their traditional dwellings and patterns for their headdresses or whatever, I wasn't really listening, when what does he ask me?
He asks me for money for another beer.
Well, I said no, because he would just spend it on firewater or craps.
Then I threw a bag of cigarette butts and an old tire on the ground to see if he would cry, but he had already turned around and gotten money from another generous "round eye".
Look, all I'm saying is, if you are Chinese, it won't hurt to carry around a violin every now and then.
Give the people what they want.
-Anderson Lawfer, Eric Roach

1 comment:

  1. Isn't this the truth. I can identify exactly. I myself met a homosexual last night, and within 15 minutes he was already trying to suck my cock!